Pewdiecry: Crazy stuff happens
by crazy.yaoi.girl
Summary: Cry has one of those days when he can't help feeling like something crazy is going to happen, and he was right... This story is written in a slightly different universe or something because they go to school and stuff. Sorry if they seem a little OOC. Pairing: Pewdiepie x ChaoticMonki. It's my first Fanfiction, so be nice? Rated M because something might happen in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Stalker**

[Cry's pov]

Today was one of those days when you feel like something really big and life changing will happen, but you don't know what…

But so far I've had an ordinary day…

I woke up, I ate breakfast, and then I went to school…

Ordinary…

No actually ordinarily ordinary…

I sat down at my desk, this was going to be just another boring school day wasn't it?

As the teacher walked in I started drawing, and the last thing I heard the teacher say was "today we'll have a transfer student" a transfer student? I guess I'll get to know him later… well, that is if it is a him, it might just as well be a she… but that doesn't really matter… right now I'm not in the mood to get to know someone… I want to draw…

"You can introduce yourself for the class" the teacher said, but of course his words fell for deaf ears as cry continued drawing in his book.  
And then something completely unexpected happened, which caused cry to whip his head up to look at the front of the classroom

"Hi, my name is Felix" the blonde boy said to his new class.

"Alright Felix, you can take a seat wherever you want" the teacher said.

Pewds walked over, and just my luck, sat right next to me, on my right side…

I'm so going to get found out now…

"OMG it really is you! You're PEWDIEPIE!" one of the girls in class screamed, I'm surprised they didn't scream out earlier, I mean, my class consists of 90% pewdiepie fans… and cry fans… which is kinda weird since I'm cry, but they haven't noticed that I'm me yet… but Pewds might notice…

Damn it Pewds, don't notice me! If he decides to talk to me I'm sure I'm screwed… he'll notice right away…

"Hi, what's your name?" of course… I turned my head over to look at him, and sure enough, he was looking at me… I didn't know how to keep my identity a secret… I mean he'd hear my voice… and I'm pretty sure he would recognize it…

"He's Ryan… he doesn't talk much… but Pewdie! Can I ask you something!?" one of the girls in class said, thankfully…

The attention wasn't on me anymore so I turned back to my book to draw some more, but I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that Pewds was going to be in my class…

The rest of the day was kinda weird, because for some unknown reason Pewds decided to stalk me… I'm not kidding… every time I turned around, there he was… I'm surprised that I managed to get back home without him noticing that I'm cry and to come home ALONE… I mean the man had stalked me the whole day, who knew? He might just follow me home too, right?

I walked into my house and started making dinner. I was just about to put the fork with food in my mouth, when someone knocked on my door… damn…

So I walked over and when I opened the door I was kinda expecting it and kinda not… because there he was, standing right outside of my door…

"Hi, can I come in?" Pewds asked…

"Sure…" I said, if he hasn't already realized that I'm cry, then he's going to soon…

After taking his shoes of he followed me to the couch and sat down beside me…

"So, Ryan… What do you like?" he asked, and I sure as hell didn't know how to respond… so of course my stupid brain came up with something weird…

"I like games… and… and I like to eat my dinner…" I said… I'm REALLY hungry, okay?

He started laughing, and it took most of my willpower to not laugh with him… because, you know, he's heard my laughter so many times by now that he'd recognize me immediately… and his laughter is so contagious…

I walked over to my kitchen and sat down to eat, and after his laughter had died down he followed, and sat across of me. I started eating, and after I had eaten about two bites he interrupted me.

"So what else besides games and eating do you like?" I looked at him and after finishing what I had in my mouth my brain gave me another stupid answer.

"I like not talking while I eat" stupid brain…

And of course there was that beautiful laughter again… I barely made it, but I managed to keep my pokerface as I continued eating…

"You know, most people would be shocked, scared or mad or something like that if someone followed them around the whole day…" he said out of the blue.

"I'm not like most people…" I answered.

He looked at me with a grin and said "I know that, I mean I have been following you for a while now…" he ended the sentence with a small chuckle.

"I know that…" I said in response… seriously? How slow can he be? I mean we've talked so much online, and he doesn't even recognize me after we've talked for this long?

"But why haven't you asked any questions? I mean I have been following you around… I'd ask what they wanted if someone did that to me…" he said… I didn't even know the answer to that myself…

The room went silent as I tried coming up with an answer to his question. The silence was broken as I tried explaining…

"I… I guess… I guess I don't mind having you follow me? Or maybe… because I don't like talking too much at school?" that surprised me, I wasn't too sure myself… when did my brain figure that out?

"Why don't you like talking at school" is what I imagined he'd ask in return, but instead…

"Hmmm… then do you want to be my friend?" I was dumbfounded… what? Why would he ask that after I told him I didn't like talking?

"Wha?... I… I guess… yeah… sure… but why would you ask that?" I asked, not too sure if this was such a good idea… because you know… he could figure out who I am…

"Well, you seem like a fun person to hang around" he answered with a beautiful smile spread across his face.

I honestly didn't know how to respond to that, so I started eating again…

My dinner was kinda awkward since he was looking at me the entire time without saying anything. So I was actually kinda glad to be done eating…

"So… you want to play something?" he asked cheerfully with a huge smile spread wide across his face.

"Okay… what do you want to play Pewds?" I said without thinking. I instantly regretted it seeing as there was NO WAY he could hear that and not recognize me…

"I dunno… what do you want to play Ryan?" he said, not even flinching… really Pewds? That was kinda obvious…

"Let's just play bloody trapland or something…" I answered.

After playing for a while I looked at the clock, and was shocked to see that it was 2 am already…

"PEWDS! It's 2 am…" I said, looking at him with a slightly shocked expression.

"Okay… we have school together, so can I sleep over?" he asked… how could he be so calm? I mean firstly we need sleep, and secondly he just met me! Well not really, but you know what I mean!

"Ho-… I… I guess?" I answered, not really sure if he was kidding or not… but I didn't want to hurt him if he didn't either…

"Thanks!" he said… so he meant it… well then I guess I have to get all the things ready… you know, so he actually could sleep here…

I walked up to my room to start getting everything ready, and of course Pewdie followed me upstairs and continued to stare at me the whole time…

"Pewds? Why are you staring at me?" I asked. I didn't like being watched when I was doing things, okay?

"No reason really… I just don't have anything else to do…" he answered, but seriously? He had shitloads of games downstairs, and he knew how to play it…

After I had made everything ready for the night we figured that we'd go to sleep, you know since we both had school in the morning…

"Good night Ryan"

"Night Pewds"

Before I could drift off to sleep, my mind pondered all the things that had happened today: Pewdie was going to be in my class, he stalked me at school and even came to my house, which I have no idea how he found out about, I mean when did he get to know my address? And now he's sleeping on a matrass on the floor, in my room… and he still haven't figured out that I'm Cry…

Oh well, it isn't that bad… as long as my identity as Cry is kept a secret it's fine…

A short while after that I fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: School

[Cry's pov]

I woke up, like any ordinary day actually, but there was a difference this morning… Pewdie were sleeping on a matrass… on my floor… in my house… that feels kinda unreal you know… think about it, what if Pewdiepie was sleeping on YOUR floor?

"Ryan?" he groaned, so he's a light sleeper? I mean I just got dressed… did he wake up from me walking past him? I don't think I made that much noise…

"What?" I said, and stopped my movements to look at him.

"Whaddimest?" he slurred.

"What? What's 'wadim iset' supposed to mean?" I asked, enjoying the sight of a sleepy Pewdie.

"What time is it?" he asked, now fully understandable.

"It's school time" I answered. He looked at me, and it took him a while before he fully understood what I had said to him. And when he did, he started laughing.

"No, but seriously, what time is it?" he asked me again. He's nearly completely awake now.

"We've got about an hour to get dressed and get going…" I answered. Then I of course proceeded to go down to the kitchen to get some breakfast. After Pewdie had gotten dressed he followed me down to my kitchen, by then I had already started eating a sandwich. I gave him the sandwich I made for him, and we readied ourselves for school. We didn't really notice how much time we had used before I checked the clock.

"Pewds! We've gotta go now! Or else we might not make it in time!" I half screamed with slight panic evident in my voice.

"I'm coming, just let me tie my shoes!" he was a little panicked too… well shit, that might be my fault…

Well, we ended up running to school…

I noticed school was a little more fun today, probably because Pewds and I talked all the time and we were always together. Although I never said anything when other people were around… but sometimes I forgot all about it, or I was too into the conversation we were having to notice other people approaching us… luckily no one noticed that I'm really Cry… although a lot of people wondered why Pewdie was hanging around me so much, not like I can blame them for that, I mean I haven't really spoken to any of them during this whole school year… and suddenly I just open up to Pewdie, and talk to him all the time after he stalked me for one day… and the fact that we came together from the same direction this morning fueled their imaginations even more…

"Ryan?" Pewdie asked. I looked at him questionably and was met with the same expression.

"What?" I asked, not too sure why he was so puzzled…

"It's just that you have been spacing out a lot lately" he said… I had? I thought I had been normal… or at least acting normal… but then again I guess I have been thinking about a lot of things lately…

"Really?" of course I had to respond with that…

"Yeah…" he said, his eyes were locked on mine, it felt nearly like he was hiding something or probably trying to do something I didn't know about… you ever had that feeling before?

"Sorry… I guess I've had a lot to think about… I'll pa-…" that's when I realized there were a lot of people around us…

"So he can talk…" one of the girls in the group said. I gave Pewdie a look that said "why didn't you tell me!?" or at least that was what I tried transferring to his mind using my supernatural abilities… which really didn't exist…

Pewdie laughed and said "sorry Ryan, didn't mean to trick you or anything, but you have to talk with other people too" I guess he was right about that, but I was too scared of them finding out who I am too really let myself loose and talk to my heart's content… and wait, did my powers really work just now!? Yes!

"When I think about it, we haven't really tried talking to you… so, what do you like to do Ryan?" one of the girls on the group asked, and before I could answer Pewdie spoke.

"He likes to game and eat, oh and he likes not talking when he's eating" Pewdie said, and then proceeded to laugh his ass off. I could feel my cheeks burning and I looked at him with a sour expression, trying out my powers again, this time I tried sending "jerk" to him.

And it seemed to work seeing as Pewdie stopped laughing for a little while to say "sorry Ryan, I just had to". That of course earned us a lot of weird looks from the people around us, but can you blame them for that? I mean what would you think if the famous Pewdiepie came to your school and then stalked a guy the same day and the next morning came to school with him… wait scratch that, I know what you would think… either that I'm Cry, or that we had sex or something close to that, or maybe both… I'm not sure, there's a lot of crazy people out there…

A lot of people stared at us during school, and it was kinda freaking me out… I wasn't used to being in any spotlight or being the person everyone talked about and stuff like that… I was used to being the person nobody knew about… and I liked it that way… well at school… I mean as Cry it was alright, but not as Ryan…

But the thing that surprised me the most is that nobody realized that I'm Cry… I mean it must seem like it, Pewds comes here and talks with this one guy the entire time, and they know that I live here too… and trust me, I would know if they realized it... my class isn't exactly known to be a silent "observe before you speak" kind of class…

I was so happy when the bell signalizing the end of school rang, it felt like I was freed from some kind of cage. Getting this much attention wasn't good for me… it felt like I was a caged animal in some kind of zoo… everyone staring at you all the time, nowhere to run off to… damn, now I feel sorry for all the animals that have to live like that…

"Ryan! Hey, can I hang out at your place today too?" Pewds… seriously? Couldn't you wait until nobody was around to hear that? I'm going to get just as many people staring at me tomorrow aren't I?

"Sure" I said, not wanting to draw to much attention to myself…

"Hey! Pewdie! Why don't you come with us instead? We want to show you around town…" one of the girls in class said, her name is Kathrin I think… she has long brown hair and dark green eyes, I think she's a little too thin though… she doesn't stick out too much… she's just a part of that little gang of self-proclaimed popular kids in class…

"Sorry, I'm going with this guy" Pewds said, which somewhat surprised me, seeing as he was offered to go with a bunch of hot girls that were totally into him… they might not be the smartest people in class to say the least, but still…

"Oh that's fine, Ryan can come too! I'm kinda interested in getting to know him better." She said, with a bright smile, which had a barely noticeable hint of something else behind it. And that actually scared me a little… I don't want to be known… so I tried using my powers again to tell Pewdie that I absolutely didn't want to go… powers please don't fail me now!

"No sorry, we already made plans…" Pewdie said surprising me even more, my powers really works! Shit if I knew that I'd use them more often…

"Aw… I guess we could do it another day then…" Kathrin said, hope still evident in her voice. And I was surprised for the third time today… I thought they would pester him so much more… and that was such an obvious lie, I mean he just asked if he could hang out at my place… and everyone heard it… but I guess the girls in class have a secret plan that I don't know about… girls have so many secret techniques that they use in their plans to get what they want… girls sure are complicated beings…

"Yeah, sounds good, bye!" Pewds said as he dragged me towards my house.

When we had gotten quite far on the route back to my house I managed to get Pewds to slow down a little.

"Pewds, I can walk on my own you know…" I said carefully… he seemed a little upset about something…

"Yeah… sorry... I just… let's just go to your place, okay?" he said… what's up with that? Why was he acting so strange? Has something I don't know about happened? When did that happen? We were together all the time…

"Okay…" I replied, my gaze turning towards him in worry as we walked the last bit of road leading to my house.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Restaurant**

[Cry's pov]

There was an awkward silence hanging around us like a curtain during the time it took us to walk up to my house, but when we came into the living room Pewds seemed like he was completely fine again… what's up with that?

"So Ryan, What do you want to do?" Pewdie asked with a huge heartwarming smile spread across his face, although I could faintly see the previous emotions hidden behind it, but still, they were barely noticeable at all…

"I don't know Pewds, what do YOU want to do?" I replied. Everything seems like it's back to normal, and I kinda appreciate that… I still want to know what's up though, but we all know what happened to the cat… curiosity killed it…

"Ryan, I'd appreciate it if you called me by my real name instead…" Pewds suddenly said, taking me by surprise, I thought he didn't mind that…

"Okay Pew- I mean Felix…" brains can be stupid at times, don't you think? I mean he just told me… I guess the brain has a hard time adjusting to stuff like that… or maybe it's just mine…

"Oh yeah, the answer to your question is that I'd like to get to know you even better than I already do" Pewds suddenly said, I had forgotten all about that… I had asked him what he wanted to do… I didn't know what to respond to that, how do you get to know me better? I already know me, so I have no idea…

"Don't think too much about it Ryan, we could just hang out, maybe play some games, and chill… maybe go to a restaurant later, you know, since I'm kinda new here and kinda want to see a few things around here…" Pewds said, his sentence started off slow and calm, but later on it seemed like he was desperately trying to explain himself… He looks really nervous…

"Don't worry about it Pewds" I said, trying my best to calm him down. Don't know why I have to calm him down though, why was this such a big deal?

"Okay… and hey, I told you to call me by my real name!" Pewds replied, giving a little chuckle at the end.

"Okay!" I said just the way I had said it in that Pewdiecry video we did together… oh shit… I got too caught up in the little act we were having that I forgot that I have to be careful… he's going to recognize me this time…

But no… he just laughed… seriously Pewds? How long will it take for you to realize? Or wait! Maybe he's just messing with me? Maybe he's testing me? Maybe he's checking how long it'll take for me to say it to him myself!?

Maybe that's why he seemed so stressed out and upset earlier?

"Hey Ryan, is there any good restaurants around here? I'm kinda hungry…" Pewdie asked.

"Yeah, there's this one restaurant I really like… it's just around the corner, so we could just walk there" I answered with eagerness, it's been a while since the last time I was there.

"Okay, then let's go there!" Pewdie said with a really bright smile plastered on his face. I wonder what he's thinking about…

"Yeah!" I said with a matching smile, this'll be fun…

Both of us were ready after just a short amount of time, I guess we're a little excited about this…

After about half an hour we both were ready to walk out of the house, we were literally standing before my front door, both of us just staring at the door… I guess we were both waiting for it to magically open up by itself… but of course that didn't happen, so I just opened the door, and walked outside… the freezing evening air hit me like a wall when I stepped outside… I like keeping my house warm, okay?...

After getting about one third of the way Pewds apparently noticed that I shivered slightly because he put his jacket around my shoulders to keep me from freezing…

"Pewds, you don't have to do this… you'll freeze… and I can manage…" I said in an attempt to make him realize that it really wasn't necessary, I mean it was only for a short walk anyways… and it wasn't really that cold, it just seemed that way since I was used to the comfortable warmth of my own home…

"It's okay Ryan… and didn't I tell you to call me by my real name? How many times do I have to tell you?" Pewds answered with a smile spread across his face… why is his smiles and laughs so contagious? It's like you just can't help yourself when he laughs… you have to laugh with him…

"Sorry… I guess it's harder than I previously thought…" I said, as I returned his smile with one of my own. Damn he's kinda handsome… kinda really handsome… his videos can't capture how good looking he really is…

"Don't worry about it Ryan!" Pewds said with a smile that practically screamed happiness… you ever seen one of those? They usually appear on small children… well, them and Pewds…

"Okay" I replied.

When we had nearly walked up to the restaurant I could see a hint of some negative emotions in Pewdie's eyes… what could be bothering him? Damn it, if he doesn't say anything about all that soon I don't know what I'll do...

"Pew- I mean Felix… talk to me man, what's bothering you?" I said in an attempt to get him to tell me what he's thinking… I tried saying it in that 'I'm here for you and you can tell me anything' tone… for a moment it seemed like it would work too, but then he just shrugged it off and told me it was nothing…

We didn't say much during the time it took us to order and get our food, but as soon as we had gotten the food Pewds asked "So, Ryan… is there a particular reason you like this restaurant so much?" well I'm not too sure myself, I guess it's just an ordinary restaurant really… but I have so many memories here…

"It's kinda complicated I guess… but the short version would be: I have a lot of good memories here…" I answered.

"What kind of memories? Like dates? Or family? Friends?" Pewdie asked… he seemed really interested in this… why? I mean it's not like it matters… maybe wants to know that because I took him here… good thing it's not the first then… that'd be awkward…

"It's the last one… and kinda family too… because my family used to eat here a lot, and after that I kinda made my friends meet me here because all of us knew this place… and after a while this became our meeting place… although now they don't have any time for this anymore… I guess that's why I never really go to this restaurant anymore…" there was a slightly heavy silence after that, so I tried lifting it a little by saying "So now you know… it's kinda sad that I can't be here with them anymore like the old days, but I think I'll enjoy being here with you even more!" I said it with a genuine smile at the end… haven't done that in a while… Wait! That kinda sounds like I know him! "I mean you seem like a fun person…" I said, a little embarrassed… shit, I have to think things through…

"I think I'll enjoy being here with you too Ryan!" Pewds said with a huge heartwarming smile spread across his face, which of course were highly contagious… I couldn't stop a small laugh from emitting from my mouth, and I most certainly couldn't stop an equally small blush from heating up my cheeks…

"I'm glad you think so highly of me Pewds… Shit! Felix I meant… damn…" I replied… sometimes I hate my brain for screwing up so much… but you can't really blame the little guy… he's trying his hardest to control my body and thoughts, and on top of that he's got to manage what I say… Oh I see what you did there brain! You're making excuses for yourself…

"It's okay, it's hard to adjust to stuff like this… I of all people should know that!" Pewds said with another smile… damn his smiles are beautiful…

"But you know… we should kinda eat our food now…" I said.

Pewds laughed a little before joining me…

After finishing our meals, we kinda just sat there and talked about a lot of things… mostly games… surpiiiiise… not really… we both have a love for games, so that'd naturally be the main subject in our conversation… then suddenly Pewdie's expression changed from a calm smile to slight panic as he checked his watch… what's up?

"Oh shi-, Ryan I've got to go! I'm so sorry… I agreed to Skype with someone today, and I'm kinda late… I'll walk you home first though…" he said in a hurry before getting up…

"It's alright… we were done anyways…" I said in a cheerful way to make him feel better…

"Yeah…" he said with a slightly more calm expression.

We paid our food, and headed on our way home… we didn't say much on our way back, and the way seemed a lot shorter that it had ever done before… why? When we had gotten just outside my door we just stood there in silence for a while, until I snapped out of it and said bye…

"See you tomorrow Ryan!" Pewdie said as he started running towards his own house… still facing me somehow… he's waving…

"Yeah" I answered, returning his wave with a little wave of my own before walking inside my house…


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: The talk**

[Still Cry's pov]

When I came inside my home, my thoughts started wandering off after thinking through most of the evening…

"Brain… it's Felix… not Pewdie or Pewds… not when we're together like this… Felix, Felix, Felix… remember that now!? FELIX… wait… didn't I make some sort of plan today? With someone online… Skype? I don't remember… let's just have everything open… just in case…"

And sure enough after a little while something popped up on his computer…

Skype? So who?... wait fuck… Pewds… I forgot about that… it's easy to forget stuff like that when you're with that exact same person, okay?...

"Hi cry!" Pewds said, he seemed really happy…

"Sup?" I said, just like I always had said it, I should probably change it up sometimes…

"You seem happy today, something good happen?" I asked, maybe his girlfriend called him or something?

"Really? Yeah, I guess I'm kinda happy… I mean I met this person which I think is awesome, kinda reminds me of you" Pewds said, smiling the whole time… wait, so I'm the reason he's so happy? Well fuck me…

"Oh? Tell me more about this awesome person you met" I said, ha! Pewds whatever you say now can, and will be used against you!

"Well, this person is funny and I just… this person is a girl by the way…" what!? Pewds… I'm not a girl… did he meet someone else? "And… well I think I might have some feelings for her…" he finished… it took me a while to realize what had happened here, but eventually I managed to answer…

"Wow… but wait, what about your girlfriend?" his expression changed a little, showing a faintly noticeable feeling of sadness and pain.

"I… we broke up… SHE broke up… said she wasn't sure if I really loved her anymore… and… no forget it, we broke up, that's it…" Pewds finished… an awkward silence followed, I had no idea what to say to that… fuck…

"So… so tell me more about this GIRL you met…" I said, in a desperate attempt to lighten the mood a little… he looked at the screen for a while with a slightly distant expression evident in his eyes, until his mood seemed to slowly go back to how it used to be… good… personally I prefer it when Pewds is happy…

"Well… she was just perfect, she was funny, nice… I don't know what to say… I really like her, and I guess I want to… I don't know maybe go into a relationship with her… but, I still… if I'm going to go further with her, it'll have to wait for a little while…" Pewds said… he's still not at 100% happiness yet…

"So… when did you meet her?" I asked, because shit, when did he have the time to meet her?

"I met her a few days ago… she's going to the same school as me, and I've already been to her house! And today we even went to a restaurant! I guess that's why I'm so happy today" Pewds said, his happiness reaching about 93% during the end of the conversation…

"R-really?" I said… are you kidding me pewds!? You're talking about ME… and you're saying I'm a girl… wait… relationship? Shit, pewds!? He's… gay? He… likes me, and… wants to… fuck, has stopped working…

"Yeah! I'm going to see her tomorrow too… I can't wait to talk to her at school tomorrow! Well, she doesn't really talk much during school though… I guess she doesn't really like being in big groups and talking with other people… but at least she talks to me" pewds ended the sentence with a huge smile… oh shit… . .me… okay… I need time to think this through…

"I, yeah, sure… Pewds-I m… are you sure that you like… her?" I nearly screwed up a lot of times there… brain, you have to get your shit together… firstly, he's Pewds when I'm cry and he's Felix when I'm Ryan… and when he's Pewds Ryan's a Girl, so it's not me, it's she, and you know nothing… okay?

"I… I'm kinda conflicted about it… I mean I really like her, but I still have feelings for someone else… I guess that's why SHE broke up with me… because I had feelings for someone else… fack, all this love shit is confusing as hell…" Pewds said, and we're down to about 46% on the happiness scale…

"It's okay Pewds… I guess, I guess it'll work out… you just have to think things through before you start something… maybe you don't really like this person? That person might just be someone you like hanging out with, but after everything that have happened you just… I don't know… you just have to figure out who you really like… which person you have closest to your heart…" I said, although it was more of a ramble… I had no idea what to say… if I said something encouraging in the wrong ways, I'd have to deal with him confessing and I don't know how I really feel about that… because I never really thought about him in that way… and… could I go into a serious relationship with pewds? I… shit, I need more time to think this through…

"Thanks Cry… but it's not quite like that… you see, the person I have the most feelings for… well that person is kinda impossible to confess to… and I'm pretty sure that person doesn't like me back… and when I met this girl… I started getting more and more feelings for her… and the fact that she nearly only talks to me is kinda encouraging me to believe that maybe, just maybe… maybe she could accept… shit, maybe she'd be willing to go into a relationship with me eventually…" Pewds said…

"Pewds… I don't know what to say…" I'm kinda speechless right now… here he is, confessing his love for Ryan to Cry… so he's confessing his love for me to me without knowing it… I feel kinda bad… but hey, he should feel bad to! I mean in a way he's using me as a substitute for the person he really likes… who could that be?

"Pewds?" I asked, waiting for his reply… I needed the time to prepare myself for what might come…

"Yeah?" Pewds answered carefully, it seems like he understands that something's up… a silent pair of seconds followed, and the silence hang over us like a heavy curtain, well… at least it felt like that for me… Pewds was nervously waiting in silence for me to reply I guess…

"Who… who is the person you like?" I asked, and the imaginary curtain felt like it got heavier…

A silence that felt like it lasted about 25 minutes but really lasted about 30 seconds erupted, and my mind was completely blank… I didn't think about anything… I just listened, waiting for his reply…

"I'm not ready to tell you, anyone yet… sorry" Pewds eventually replied, and my curtain didn't feel as heavy as before… I think I'm gonna name him Frank. Yeah, my Pewds curtain is named Frank.

"That's okay, whenever you're ready to tell me you'll do so" I said, I'm feeling a lot better now… kinda strange seeing as he didn't tell me anything… but still, Frank wasn't being a jerk anymore either…

"But then… could you tell me who this girl you met is then?" I asked, knowing he'd have problems telling me that... I'm evil sometimes…

"U-um… I… okay so… I can't really tell you that either… I'm sorry… again…" Pewds said, I really like seeing him having trouble with stuff like this… does that make me a bad person?

"That's okay too… but wait, why did you approach… this girl in the first place?" I asked… yes! Avoided saying 'me' this time to! But brain, really? You could try a little harder…

"Well… there was something about her that made me… I guess it was love at first sight, haha, never thought I'd say that… but I kinda saw it as a challenge too… especially when the girls told me he didn't speak much… but I guess… I guess it got serious…" Pewds said thoughtfully, he was really thinking this through huh? I couldn't help letting out a small laugh…

"You're so romantic Pewds, haha" I said… I couldn't help it okay? The whole situation was so strange… faith really did something weird here, didn't she? Wait… did Pewds say he? "Pewds… did you just say HE?" I asked… I guess he fucked up real bad this time…

"I-what? No… I did not!" he said, light panic evident in his voice. Oh he knew he fucked up now.

"Yes you did, you said 'the girls told me HE didn't say much' so the she, is really a dude?" I said playfully… of course I knew that from the start, but I wanted him to tell it to me himself.

"… Okay… yes… the girl's a guy… that's kinda the reason I told you I couldn't tell you who this person is… Cry?" Pewds replied…

"Yeah?"

"I'm gay…"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Think damn it, think**

[Cry's pov]

"I'm gay"

Well fuck… I was right…

"And here I thought you just were fabulous." I replied.

When Pewds heard that he started laughing his ass off, and when I heard that beautiful laughter of his I couldn't help laughing with him. That's when I realized that this conversation had been way too intense for way too long, and that's probably why a small joke like this made the both of us laugh so much… and that's the way I liked it…

After a while our laughter slowly died down, and I couldn't help feeling a little happy… I guess I wanted this conversation to happen…

"No but seriously… I really am gay…" Pewds said after a while, his voice had gotten a little serious again…

"Okay…" I replied… I didn't know what else to say… I mean it wasn't really strange or anything…

"You… you're okay with it?" he asked… Ah, so that's what he was after…

"Yeah… it doesn't really matter whether you're gay, straight or bi, you're still my friend!" I said… was that okay? I mean… he's in love with me… well… not the me I'm right now, but the Ryan me… I hope that was okay…

"Yeah… thanks Cry…" he replied, but there was something wrong with this… his expression didn't quite match what he was saying… oh well, it's probably nothing anyway…

Our conversation went back to how it always was after that, and I'm glad it did…

After talking to Pewds for a long time I checked my watch, and it was a lot… well shit…

"Pewds… it's 3:30 am now… I think we need sleep…" I said… actually, now that I think about it I'm actually quite sleepy…

"Really? Hmm… yeah then I guess we do need sleep…" Pewds said calmly… doesn't sleep concern him at all?

"You think!? Well night Pewds" I said, I'm feeling even more sleepy now…

"Yeah, good night Cry"

I nearly fell asleep after turning my computer off, but I did manage to get to my bed…

The next morning I woke up in my bed…

Ordinary…

No Pewds on my floor…

Still ordinary…

But something was off… what?

I went down to the kitchen and made some breakfast…

There was something I was forgetting! Or maybe something that I was supposed to do, but didn't do? For fucks sake brain! Help me out here!

…

I've got nothing…

I think it's because I'm still thinking about the conversation Pewds and me had yesterday…

So… he likes me…

Could I ever reply to that? And what? Could I ever get feelings for Pewds? How do I feel about Pewds right now? Damn I don't know anything… not even about myself…

Brain! Why are you not helping me!?

Bastard…

My thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell… what? Who?

When I opened the door I realized what I had forgotten… I have school today…

"Ryan… why weren't you at school?" Pewds asked with a sad expression.

"Oh shit… I… I forgot to… shit… I'm sorry…" I replied… shit how could I forget school!?

"I was asked to teach you what we learned today…" Pewds said… he seems so… down… why? Is it because I didn't show up for school? He did say that he was looking forward to school because he got to see me… but still…

"Then make yourself at home…" I said as I walked to my living room…

"Yeah…" Pewds answered, his voice was barely noticeable because he was speaking so quietly… seriously Pewds?

As we both had entered my living room and Pewds sat down in my couch at last, Pewds was about to say something, when I cut him off.

"So what's up with you?" I said with a little more prissy voice than I had intended…

"I… was the reason you didn't come to school today… me?" he asked… Really? Why would I do that?

"No… why would you-" but this time Pewds cut ME off…

"Well then why didn't you come?" he said with a really sad expression… it felt like he had been waiting at a restaurant and I never showed up… not like this was a date Pewds… it's school…

"Because I woke up just now, and I had a lot on my mind and I forgot, okay?" I said, slight anger evident in my voice… fuck, it feels like I have to defend myself… Pewds wtf? This is not how you seduce someone! And here I thought you were gay…

"Sorry… it's just… I was looking forward to talking to you at school today… and… wait! What's on your mind?" Pewds asked…

"I… I was thinking about all the things… you… shit… I can't explain it…" I said, panicking all over the place… that kinda sounded wrong, didn't it? It kinda sounded like I'm trying to figure out if I really have feelings for him… well I am, but you know that wasn't it… or maybe that I was thinking about him an had… in the morning and… no…

"Thinking about me? What were you… why?" Pewds replied… shit… I should have used my powers to prevent this…

"I… a lot of things… just leave it Pewds…" I said… fuck I hope he leaves it…

"… fine… but you have to promise you'll tell me later, okay?" he said after a short period of silence…

"When is later?" I asked… I'm really hoping later doesn't mean later today or this week…

"You're asking me? Later is when you feel comfortable enough to tell me…" he said…. Thank God for his understanding nature! Damn…

"Okay… good…" I replied.

"So… when IS later?" he asked, and I couldn't help laughing. Even though he has an understanding nature he's also really impatient…

"I'm not sure Pewds" I said, still smiling.

"Felix, Ryan, FELIX" Pewds said… Felix… brain you fucked up again…

"Yeah… sorry… Felix" I said… saying his name gave me a strange feeling… maybe it's because I'm not used to calling him that? Or maybe it's because I'm hungry? Yup, I'm definitely hungry… a combination then?

"I need food…" I said… damn you brain… couldn't you have said it in a less stupid sounding way? Are you trying to make me look stupid? Sound stupid? I don't even…

"Then let's eat together" Pewds, no wait, Felix said. Seeing as I had an argument within it took me a while to respond…

"Umm… okay… restaurant or here?" I asked.

"Restaurant! I mean if it's okay with you?" he asked… Pewds… so now you're trying to get me out on dates? Damn… it's kinda funny because I know… if I didn't know I wouldn't have given it a single thought… but now it's kinda funny…

"Sure, Pewds, sure, fuck! I mean Felix!" there it was again! That feeling… I guess it's gonna take a while until I get used to calling him Felix…

"Haha, so restaurant it is then!" Felix replied, happiness evident in his whole being… it was like he was radiating happiness… and it seems to be contagious…

After the short walk to the restaurant we sat down at the table closest to the exit, because you know, we have to have the best spot in case zombies attack…

During the time it took for us to get our food we discussed what we should do if zombies really did attack, and eventually we came to the conclusion that we needed to get a secure place, or secure the place ourself, and we needed some food… so we figured out that we first needed weapons of some sort, and then we had to take the local store by force… and after that we'd slowly make our way with the food to the old fabric, because you know that was well barricaded from before to keep the kids out, and it was on the outskirts of town, so we didn't have to worry about other people trying to steal it from us! We were about to discuss what we'd do if the other was bitten, but we didn't get far since the food arrived…

After finishing our food we started talking a little until Pewds realized that he hadn't taught me anything yet… and our teacher would flip if he found out… so we decided to go back to my place, and on the way back we continued our discussion about what we should do if one of us got bitten… and we of course would deal with it when shit hit the fan, but until we were about to turn we'd help the other survive…

When we had just walked inside my house and sat down at my couch, neither of us were too keen on talking about school, so we figured we'd put an alarm on to signalize the end of our game time, and the start of our time from hell…

And after playing for a while the alarm buzzed off, but we were in the middle of something and the mood was so good… so we decided to expand our gaming time with an hour…

And after what felt like 10 minutes the alarm went off again… this time I got kinda angry at it… mostly because it scared the shit out of me… so of course I stopped it…

After we finished playing we looked at the watch in horror as it read 3 am… fuck…

"Shit… so umm… can I sleep over tonight too?" Pewds asked…

"Yeah I guess…" I replied… so Pewds was gonna sleep on my floor again? Wow… that's a dream for most people, and it's happened twice to me… I must be blessed…

When I made things ready for Pewds I noticed that Pewds had gotten closer and closer from the door… what the fuck Pewds? Is this how you seduce people? Is it really?

"Umm… what is it?" I asked, mainly because he nearly went inside my personal space…

"Nothing… just umm… remember to put the alarm on…" he replied, a faint blush visible on his cheeks… well shit, I guess he can be cute at times too…

"Oh yeah, thanks p-Felix" I said as I walked downstairs to get the alarm clock…

When I got up again Pewds had finished making everything ready for bed and was ready to go to bed.

"Sooo… I guess I'll put it to about one hour earlier this time? We do need to go through… school stuff… so yeah…" I said as I walked into my room towards Pewds…

"Yeah…" Pewds answered.

After the both of us had gotten in bed and said our goodnights we drifted off to sleep… well not me… I had too much to think about… and the main reason for that was lying on my floor…

Do I like Pewds? Am I ready to try something with him? What the fuck should I do if he asks me out or tries kissing me or something!? Isn't there some kind of answer to all of this?

Eventually I managed to fall asleep after about an hour of thinking about things…


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: New brain please**

[Cry's pov]

I didn't wake up from the alarm, Pewds woke me up this particular morning… imagine that would you? The first thing you see in the morning is Pewdie's face as he's trying to wake you up… most people would kill for that kind of alarm clock…

"Ryan… Wake up!" Pewds said as he gently shook me in an attempt to wake me up…

"Hmm… I'm awake… I'm aw…" I tried, but nearly fell right back to sleep… not that crazy for mornings… had it been up to me we'd all go to night classes…

"Fuck no you're not! You've been saying that the last three times I tried waking you up!" Pewds said… oups…

"Sorry…I don't like mornings…" I said, I'm too sleepy to care about grammar or sounding smart…

"Well I made you breakfast… so get up!" Pewds said. Now this perked my interest…

"What did you make?" I asked… I hate mornings, but I'm so hungry…

"Not telling you… you have to get up and find that out for yourself" Pewds said, and surprisingly he managed to say it with a pokerface, successfully making me unable to figure out anything at all…

"Damn… Pewdie! No wait, fuck, Felix I meant… Felix! Tell me! It's too damn early for this…" I said, well barely… I'm sleepy…

"Ryan… we have school today too you know…" Felix said… oh yeah… we do…

"Shit…" I said as I tried lifting myself up from my bed, which is harder than you'd think… in the morning it feels like your entire body is covered in small but heavy weights that won't come off until you finish dressing for school… well that's how I feel...

"Felix, how long have you been up?" I asked, looking up towards him as I yawned… fuck mornings…

"I've been up since the alarm went off… which is about an hour ago…" he answered… doesn't sleep concern him at all? What kind of super human are you Pewds?

"Wait… that mean we have about 30 minutes until we have to go to school! Why didn't you wake me up earlier!?" I asked, panicking all over the place, and suddenly the weights lifted as I hurriedly put my clothes on.

"Well I tried! I've tried waking you up for about 35 minutes now!" Felix said a little angrily…

"Sorry… but I told you I can't skip to much sleep…" I said…

"Yeah I know… I'm sorry…" he replied.

When Pewds had left the room all the thoughts about what he had said in that Skype conversation returned, and I couldn't help getting a little distant as my mind tried figuring out what to do about it all… I didn't notice that 10 minutes had gone by as I thought about everything until Pewds entered the room and pointed at his watch…

"Shit!" I said as I hurried down with him and ate breakfast.

We arrived just in time for school, and of course people started wondering even more now… this was after all the second time we walked to school together… and he started at our school 3 days ago… and the fact that I never really spoke to anyone made them more suspicious…

During our recess Felix and I talked about all sorts of things again, and it was like it only was him and me sitting there… nothing else seemed to matter at that time…

"So Ryan? You really like gaming, huh?"

"Yeah, how about you?" I answered.

"No not really, I like watching others play though" she answered, and that's when I realized we had attracted quite the group of people and that it was Kathrin that had asked that question… fuck…

"Wow… he actually talked to someone…" one of the other girls in Kathrin's little group said.

"Yeah, but I think he realized that we're here now…" a usually more quiet member of Kathrin's group said… I always saw her as the brains in the group… she doesn't really belong in that group though… I think she was Kathrin's childhood friend, and she kinda just stuck to Kathrin I guess… Amelia I think her name was…

"So he's not gonna talk anymore then? Is that what you're saying?" Kathrin asked, looking like that fact bored her… well I'm sorry for not liking that much attention all the time… Fucks sake, I just want to be anonymous… you guys already figured out my name, even my brother's name… and now you want every fact about me? Fuck that…

"Well excuse me for not wanting to talk to everyone all the damn time…" I said in a prissy voice without realizing what I had just done… I should not have done that… for fucks sake Pewds, what are you doing to me? You're making me reveal that I'm Cry… that's what you're doing… shit… I didn't mean to say that, it's just… I got angry and… fuck…

"Shit, he even has an attitude, who would have known…" Kathrin said, she sounded a little bemused actually…

"You know Ryan, you've always been an interesting person because nobody gets you to open up to them… that made you an unknown and interesting object… after a while we all kinda just gave up though… but now you've opened up to someone, and that makes you interesting again…" Kathrin said, and her words scared the shit out of me… I've seen WAY to many movies to not take this as a bad sign…

"You're scaring him Kathrin…" Amelia said… when did she learn how to read minds? Oh that's right! I have my powers! I could just use them to make them leave! That way Pewds and me could continue our conversation! Our conversation about… books and teachers? Wait… I've been talking to the others in the group for a little while now…

WAIT… where the fuck is Pewds!? He must have left now recently…

"Wait, where's Pewds?" I asked…

"He just went out… said something about getting some fresh air" Amelia answered… shit I'm starting to like her! Not like-like, but as a friend…

"Thanks Amelia!" I said as I started running towards the exit… truth is I was starting to feel a little claustrophobic… I don't have claustrophobia, but there was too many people around me, and they were all looking at me… STUDYING me…

After running around outside for a little while, I found Pewds.

"Felix! Why'd you leave me in there?" I asked, a little confused.

"I just… I won't do that again…" he said… now that I get to look at him up close I can see that he's kinda sad… and… angry? Irritated?

"Do what again? What's up?" I said, still a little out of breath… I ran quite fast mind you… and besides I never really liked sports…

"I… I'll tell you next time someone approaches… I…" Pewds said, but never finished…

"No need… you could just give me some sort of sign… but it doesn't matter that much…" I said… why the fuck did I say that!? It DOES matter! I don't want my Pewdiecry loving class to find out! What's up with me? What's up with the both of us!?

"Yes it DOES… I… I don't like it… it feels like I'm losing you…" Pewds said… well shit…

"I… but you're not… I still don't like talking to other people… didn't you hear my prissy voice when I told them to fuck off?" I asked… not really what I said, but it felt like it was…

"Really? You did that? Fuck, I missed it…" he said, and we couldn't help laughing a little… the aura around us had been really horrible for a while there… too much tension…

"Yeah you did" I said as my laughter was coming to an end.

After Pewdie's laughter died down completely his eyes locked with mine… shit his eyes are REALLY blue…

"Ryan?" he asked, his eyes still watching my eyes, no, searching for something in my eyes…

"Y-yeah?" I asked a little nervously… oh shit…

"I really like you… as more than a friend…" he said, and I couldn't help feeling the pressure that came from those words, like nothing mattered… only the words I would chose to reply with…

"Is there a chance that you'd go out with me? No wait, do you want to go out with me?" Pewds asked, and I could feel Frank hugging me tightly as I couldn't even talk, I just stood there like an idiot…

It took a while before I managed to figure out the words I was going to reply with… and Pewds was still waiting patiently for my reply…

"I… you haven't known me for more than 3 days…" I said… what the fuck!? That is NOT what we agreed on brain! Not what we agreed on!

"Yeah, but it feels like I've known you my entire life… and besides, I already know you more than everyone at school…" he said… well shit… he was right… okay brain, don't fuck up this time too…

"I… I guess I need some time to think about it… I… I'm not sure…" I said… how do you change your brain? Because I think mine broke a while ago… it's not working like it should…

"Okay… so… there's a chance?" Pewds asked… he looks so nervous… it's kinda cute…

"Y-yeah… I guess…" I said, my brain once again refusing to answer like I want it too…

Pewds sighed, he had clearly been holding his breath in during most of our current conversation… he looks so calm right now… like he just heard that they decided to let him live… hey wait, maybe Frank paid him a visit? So Frank bothers Pewds too…

After that we kinda just went to class…

When school was over Pewds walked over to me and once again asked, in front of everybody, if I didn't mind having him as company for the evening… and once again I said okay…

The walk back was nice, mainly because everything seemed to go back to how it used to be before he confessed his feelings to me…

What the fuck am I going to do about that?


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: What now?**

[Cry's pov… like always]

I knew it was going to happen, but I didn't know it would happen this quick… Pewds why'd you confess so early? I was still thinking things through… and you kinda just dropped it on me… and my brain doesn't listen and I just… it's too much…

What the fuck am I going to do about all of this? The answer? I mean, the way things are going with my brain, it might just say yes… and I don't think I'm ready for that… I mean, its Pewds… my friend… and going into a relationship with a friend is… okay first of all, how do I feel about Pewds? He's a really good friend and I like being with him… and he IS fabulous… because you can be fabulous AND gay… but… do I, can I… get feelings for him?

"Ryan? What's up? You seem so distant…" Pewds asked, worry written all over his face…

"No, it's nothing… don't worry about it Felix…" I answered.

"You sure? Because if something is wrong…" Felix asked, still worried…

"Yeah… it really is nothing… it's just… I have a lot to think about…" I answered, and I wasn't lying either… I did have a lot to think about…

"Is it… is it because of what I said at school today?" Felix asked, and I immediately looked up into his eyes which were watching mine in return, looking for something…

"N-no… yeah… but you know I have to think this through… it's just so… sudden…" I said, still staring into his eyes… damn his eyes really is REALLY blue… I nearly want to draw them… capture their glow on paper would certainly be a challenge, but still tempting…

Before I had the chance to react Felix leaned towards me, and I panicked when there was only about ten centimeters between his and my head… I shut my eyes tightly and braced myself for what I knew was coming… I'm not ready for this!

Then he hugged me, and I was utterly confused… what? I thought he was going to kiss me…

"Don't be so tense around me… I'm not doing anything unless you agree to it yourself…" Felix said, hugging me tightly… this felt so good… being hugged by him felt so good… he was so warm, and just… so huggable…

"Okay" I replied… my tension almost all gone… I could just relax and don't give a fuck about anything when he hugged me like this… I was inwardly begging for the hug to continue forever, but like all good things it ended…

"Now, let's play games! If you want to of course…" Felix said with a huge smile on his face… I like his smiles…

"Yeah" I said happily in response…

After playing for a while I fell asleep… I haven't had a long good night's sleep in a while, okay?

This time I actually woke up because of the alarm… I sat up and stretched my arms over my head before turning off the alarm. I was about to start my morning routine, but then suddenly a wild Pewds appeared… you get the idea… I fell on top of him, successfully waking him up…

"Shit! Sorry p-Felix…" I said immediately. I was about to get up when I noticed that Pewdie's hands were on my hips… before I knew it I had been pulled into another hug…

"Felix…" I said silently… I was thinking of protesting and go eat breakfast… but his hugs feel so fucking good… so instead of protesting I started relaxing and nearly drifted right back to sleep…

"Ryan… we kinda have to get ready for school now…" Felix said, smiling down at me… wait down at me!? He… when the fuck did he get on top of me!? WHAT!?

Felix let out a small laugh and said "Just forget it… it kinda just happened okay? I'll go make breakfast" how does he do that!? It's like he knows everything about me… I guess he wasn't kidding when he said it felt like he had known me his entire life… wasn't kidding… how the fuck am I going to tell him… I mean, I'm not gay… well I don't think I am… what should I do? I don't want to hurt him…

"Ryan! Breakfast is ready!" Felix shouted from the kitchen… I had been so caught up in my own thoughts that I didn't realize that a lot of time had gone by…

"Yeah… I'm coming… just let me get dressed first" I said back… Oh shit! I just realized that our hug had been… we were both in our…

Let's just get dressed and go down to eat breakfast okay? You agree with that brain?

When we both had finished our breakfast we started our walk to school…

"Umm… Ryan?" Felix asked carefully… something is up…

"Yeah?" I replied cautiously…

"You know… when you fell asleep yesterday?" Felix asked, a faint blush creeping across his face… Oh. Something is DEFINIATELY up…

"Yeah?" I said with both caution and a faint hint of anger… what happened?

"I… you looked so… beautiful… I couldn't resist it… I'm so sorry…" Felix said, the blush got darker when he said 'beautiful'…

"You couldn't resist WHAT?" I asked… fuck no… what did you do Pewds?

"I… I kinda… I kissed you… sorry… although I said that I wouldn't do anything… you at least deserve to know… I'm sorry" by now he had stopped me and were holding my shoulders… I just looked up at him in disbelief… he did what!? Damn Pewds!

"You… you gave me your word! And… and you did it to me when I couldn't even resist it… when I… when I don't even… remember it…" I said, slowing down at the last part… I didn't really mean to say that either…

"Wait… does that mean you want to remember it?" Felix asked with both hope and surprise... I just kind of blushed like hell and looked away still slightly angry at him…

"N-no…" I said, but my cheeks just grew darker… so my body doesn't want to listen to me either now?

And that's when it happened… Felix kissed me… it was short and kinda sweet… but he still did it without my consent… when he pulled back I kinda just stood there for a while, thinking about a lot of stuff…

"Ryan?" Felix asked carefully as he tried looking into my eyes… he was still kinda close to me… his words made me snap out of my thoughts, and I pushed him away from me…

"Fuck! Pewds! I said no… fuck…" it started out as an angry sentence but kinda slowed down to a slightly sad and hurt one… I didn't mean to sound so hurt…

"I… I'm sorry it's just… you… I…" Pewds tried, but I just started walking angrily towards our school… I didn't really feel like going, but I kinda have to…

When we entered the classroom Pewds tried reasoning with me again…

"But Ryan, I'm sorry… I just… I…" Pewds started, but he never really finished, mainly because I just sat down grumpily at my desk…

"NO… I don't care… just… fucking shut up" I said as I crossed my arms in front of my chest… shit… I'm kinda acting like a jerk… I don't mean to… but he… without my consent… and… I never really… that was my first… I trusted… I hate myself for acting like this… my thoughts is all jumbled up…

"Oh shit… Ryan's pissed…" some girl in class said…

"Shut up" I said angrily… the fucks up with me? Stop acting like a dick!

"I told you he has an attitude" Kathrin said, and for some reason that pissed me off so much…

"Hey fu-" I started, but Felix covered my mouth and practically dragged me out of the classroom…

When he finally stopped and let go of me I said "Why'd you do that I-" but I was cut off again, but this time by Pewdie's actions…

He kissed me again…

"Fucks sake! Is kissing me really that bad!?" Pewds asked angrily… he tried masking it, and he was really good at it, but I could still see how hurt he was…

"I… n-no…" I said hesitantly… this isn't what I wanted to do, fuck, I didn't want to hurt him…

"Then why are you raging like this?" Felix asked… he still looked a little hurt…

"I don't… I don't know…" I said… I can feel how close I am to crying right now… I don't know… I don't know anything… it's so painful… my chest hurts…

"Ryan…" Felix said, and I could hear how concerned he was…

And then he hugged me again… and all my worries went away and I felt like I could just relax again…

"Ryan… I'm sorry… I really didn't mean to do something against your will… but just… calm down… you're not thinking straight…" Felix said as he gently put enough distance between us to let me see his beautiful eyes…

"I guess I really aren't thinking straight…" I said… and then I… kissed him? Why, what, Ryan what the fuck are you doing!?

"Let's try dating…"

I'm not too sure about this chapter, so I wrote the next one just after... just to clarify things...

If you don't like this chapter, then I'm sorry...


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Exploring**

[Cry's pov…]

"Let's try dating…" Ryan what the fuck are you saying!?

"Really? You sure? I mean as you said yourself, you're not thinking straight…" Felix asked, and I could see how conflicted he was about that sentence, there was a hint of worry and hope behind that sentence…

"Yeah… I guess I've been feeling so confused lately, been having too much to think about… and that's probably why I flipped over such a small thing… I'm sorry… but I really want to at least try dating you… so… let's try?" I said… that makes sense… I guess that's… that's really accurate… brain why don't you ever tell me stuff like this? I could have avoided so much…

"Okay… since you're so set on it I guess I could try! But be aware! There's going to be kissing!" Felix said in an attempt at lightening the mood a bit… and it worked… we both laughed a little….

"We should probably get back to class now… it started about 10 minutes ago…" Felix said… we had returned to how we used to be now… thank God for that… I hate it when he gets hurt or when he's acting strange at all… well… not entirely back to normal… I still felt a little down… and we all know there's only one thing to do when you feel down or angry…

"Yeah… but first!" I said just before I hugged Felix… damn this feels WAY to good… I could get addicted to this…

We figured we'd skip the first period and show up in the first recess…

When we were about to walk inside I felt the weight of Frank on me again, and I froze for a moment… I had actually said a lot of stupid and… shit… I'd have to tell them that I was sorry…

"Don't worry about it Ryan, I'm right behind you" Felix said, and that actually gave me the courage to open the door…

"Ha, so now he's back huh? What were you about to say earlier?" Kathrin immediately asked… she sounded kinda angry…

"Nothing… I… I'm sorry… I just kinda acted out for nothing… and I feel really bad about it… I've had a lot on my mind lately and I kinda just blew up… sorry…" I said…

Amelia walked up to me and gave me a hug…

"It's okay Ryan… you've just had a hard time, we all have that sometimes, so we forgive you… RIGHT? Kathrin!?" after 'forgive you…' she turned around and looked angrily at Kathrin, which looked slightly scared…

"Y-yeah…" Kathrin replied…

When it all was over, and the next class started, the whole 'I'm dating Felix' thing dawned on me… I'm actually dating Felix… I still don't know how I really feel about him though… but I'm dating Felix… shit… I'm… kissing… he said there would be kissing… but I get to hug him as many times as I'd like though… I'm actually dating Felix!

Before I knew it class ended and Felix came over to me and just kinda pulled me out of the classroom again, but this time he took me to the front of our school…

"So let's go home!" Felix said happily as he started walking towards my house…

"Umm… okay…" I replied… I still have no idea what's going on… but I'll just go with whatever he deems right…

We didn't really talk much during the walk back to my place… we just walked… and when we arrived at my house we just sat down in my couch… what now?

"So… how far am I allowed to go? Kissing? Touching? Making out?" Felix suddenly asked, and I had no idea what to reply to that… I mean I don't even know how far my limit is…

"I don't know… I know hugging is okay… and… kissing I guess… but I don't really know where the line goes for me yet…" I said… well fuck me… my brain listened to me…

"So that means we try things out?" Felix asked, and I nodded in response…

"Okay… then let's eat and then maybe play some games?" Felix asked, surprising me a little… I thought he was going to try things out right away… I really don't mind trying stuff out with him? Do I have feelings for him after all?

"Yeah…" I replied… maybe that thing with his name wasn't because I'm not used to calling him that? Nor because I was hungry?

"Felix" I said… and the feeling I had gotten that time was stronger… so does that mean I have some sort of feelings towards him? Shit, I've been acting so damn gay lately…

"Yeah? What is it Ryan?" Felix answered… oh yeah… when you say a name that usually means you want their attention… I forgot that for a second there…

"Umm… say my name… please?" what the… why? Why would I say…

"Ryan" Felix said, and I suddenly understood why I had asked… he clearly had the same feelings when he said my name as I had just a few seconds ago… but his feelings looked so much more overwhelming… I guess that means I like him… at least a little…

"Thanks…" I said, blushing a little… that must have been kinda weird for him…

"No problem" Felix said, smiling… damn his smiles are just too… no… Ryan stop being so gay…

During the meal I was completely silent… I was thinking things through, and I noticed that I've been thinking more about feelings and stuff this week than I had done in my entire life… Felix what are you doing to me?

"Umm, Felix? Do you… by any chance…. Still want to explore the place?" I asked, my cheeks feels kinda warm… I'm acting so gay right now… what's that all about?

"Yeah! So… want to be my personal guide?" Felix asked, and for some reason that sounded kinda kinky…

"Sure" I answered.

We ended up just walking around in town, but I didn't mind… we were making bad jokes and relaxing, and just… having fun… it was nice… I could finally just relax from all the thinking about everything… and I guess Frank had been hanging on me for a while now… but during the exploration he left me alone…

"Well that was fun, and thanks to you I now know where all the restaurants in town are!" Felix said teasingly.

"Hey! At least I didn't want to visit all the gay places like you did…" I replied

"Oh stop it, you know you liked it!" Felix said, and we both laughed our asses off… this is just like we always do, and I've been missing it a little… we've been too serious for a while now, and it just gets to intense… we need to mess around sometimes…

"Ryan" Felix said, and I could see that emotion in his eyes again…

"Yeah?" I asked, still smiling from the previous laughter he and I shared…

"I've had a lot of fun today… thanks" he said, looking into my eyes, a bright smile spread across his face.

"You're welcome" I said, returning his smile… this would have been the perfect time to confess… Felix, you're just too impatient…

Felix came closer and closer to me, but this time I was kinda ready for it… so I closed my eyes to focus on the feeling I got, this of course was because I needed to know if I liked it or not… he put his hands on my cheeks and our second kiss happened… it was a short kiss, and as soon as I opened my eyes I could see Felix searching for something… something like a special feeling or? I'm not quite sure… probably wants to know if I liked it or not, if I accepted it or not… I looked away and I could feel my cheeks burning… that stare of his is so intense…

"So?" Felix asked hesitantly…

"I-it's okay…" damn it, why do I stutter all the time when I'm with him now?

"Oh thank God" Felix said just before he hugged me… and as usual the hug ended way too early in my opinion…

"Let's go back to your place, shall we? I mean it is getting kinda dark, and you never know what might happen I during the dark!" Felix said, and it kinda felt like he was referring to what he might do to me when I couldn't see…

"Yeah…" I replied.

We started walking towards my house shortly after, and during that walk Felix took my hand in his… I don't mind holding hands with Felix…

this is the shortest chapter so far... but the next chapter will be longer...


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Boundaries**

[Cry's pov…]

I didn't feel anything when Amelia hugged me… it was nice enough, I mean a hug always feels nice, but I didn't get the same feeling I got from Felix's hugs… and I liked the kiss… would I feel the same way about a kiss from Amelia? From anyone else? Do I really like Felix? I guess I do… at least a little…

"Hey Ryan, what are you thinking about?" Felix asked, as he looked at me with curiosity…

"Not much… just about hugging…" I answered… I'm blushing again aren't I?

"You mean this?" he asked just before walked over to me and hugged me.

"Yeah…" I said, as I hugged him back… I REALLY like hugging Felix…

Felix just chuckled slightly and pulled me away a little to kiss me… I kinda like kissing him too…

We haven't gone any farther than this… all that testing my boundaries hasn't really happened yet… it's been about a week since that "exploring " date happened… and luckily there hasn't been any more of those episodes at school either…

"I've got a skype chat with Cry tonight at eight, but the rest of the time you've got my full attention" Felix said… note to self: remember to turn on your computer when Felix leave…

"Okay…" I replied.

"So what do you want to do?" Felix asked… was it just me or did he say that in a slightly darker tone than usual? Felix? Are you implying what I think you're implying?

"I don't know… what do you want to do?" I asked…

"I'm not sure… I guess just hang out?" he replied… oh, I know what you'd like to do…

"Okay…" I replied... what else do you reply to that?

"Shit, okay so I want to try things out…" Felix then said… aha, I knew you wouldn't be able to hold out for too long…

"I guess that's alright… I mean we haven't really tried anything… and it's been a week" I said… I guess I've gotten used to the whole "I'm dating Felix" thing…

"Really? Okay, then what do we… start with?" he asked, and I could nearly FEEL the nervousity from that sentence…

"Umm… I'm not too sure… just try something I guess?" I answered, and as soon as I had said that I got really nervous… Felix and I are going to "try something out"… shit…

"Okay… then tell me if you want me to stop…" Felix said, and I couldn't help but feel like this was going to continue until I stopped him…

"Okay…" I replied…

Felix sat there for a little while until he started leaning in towards me… he kissed me, first on my right cheek, and then on the lips. But this kiss lasted longer than the previous ones, and Felix's hands were on my hips… Felix didn't remove his hands when the kiss ended, and after looking me in the eyes for a little while he went back in for another kiss… but this kiss was different… I could feel his tongue on my lips, and I immediately knew he wanted to try making out…

I let him…

Making out was such a strange feeling, and yet it felt kinda good… it was kinda hot… I guess this much is okay… but then Felix's hands started moving, and it kinda caught me by surprise, so I jumped a little… Felix must have taken this as me wanting to stop, because he immediately pulled away…

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I…" Felix said… he's panicking…

"Don't worry about it… it wasn't like… when you moved your hands I… it just caught me by surprise… if I wanted you to stop I'd push you away… stop being so goddamn nervous all the time…" I said… he's kinda cute when he's like this though…

"Really?... okay, but you really have to tell me when you want to stop…" Felix replied… I don't think I find these kinds of stuff weird or embarrassing any more… and that's kinda strange, because I usually fret about everything all the time… fuck, I don't think I would care even if Felix found out that I'm Cry… why am I still keeping that secret? I mean it wouldn't have meant anything if only Felix got to know… it's not like he would tell anyone… why have I been so set on keeping it a secret!?

I had been so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed that Felix had gotten closer to me… we started making out again, and this time I didn't get startled when his hands moved… Felix started moving faster as he got more and more eager, and when he touched in between my legs I gasped. I tried pushing a little at his chest, but he was too lost in what he was doing. Felix then slowly got on top of me, and I could feel my back make contact with the couch.

"S-stop!" I nearly yelled, and I got really nervous… I could feel my cheeks burning… so this is my boundary… hugs are fine, kissing is fine, even making out is… okay… but when it came to touching that place… nope… not yet…

For a moment it seemed like Felix was going to ignore what I said, and just continue anyway, but then he said "Okay… so that's where the line goes?"

"Yeah… at least for now… I mean it's only been… I'm still not-" I started but he cut me off by continuing my sentence "Ready for it…"

We stayed like that for a while until Felix finally got up…

"You owe me a kiss for getting my hopes up!" Felix said jokingly, but somehow I knew that he was slightly upset by me stopping him when it was starting to get interesting…

I laughed a little and then I kissed him…

"I guess you do, I'm sorry…" I said… he looked kinda startled by that… he didn't think I'd do it… well I DID! I'm so unpredictable…

"You have no idea what you're doing to me Ryan…" Felix said, and I couldn't help laughing a little…

"I guess I don't… but I might find that out for myself later…" I replied as I smiled softly at him…

"Fuck…" Felix said just before he leaned in and kissed me more passionately, and when he stopped he hugged me… that kiss was so damn hot…

"Fuck indeed" I said back… no pun intended here…

Felix laughed softly and then pulled away from me, successfully ending the hug…

"Let's just play some games?" I asked, not too sure what to do in these situations…

"Umm, okay…" Felix answered with a blush across his face…

We started playing, and I noticed that Felix wasn't concentrating on the game at all, so I paused the game…

"Okay, what's up?" I asked… he stared at me for a while before answering…

"I… it's nothing… but I guess I should go… I have to skype, you know…" he said while he blushed like no tomorrow… what the fuck Felix?

"Really?" I asked as I leaned closer, to check thoroughly of course… but when he started moving away from me I kinda understood what it was...

"That much?" I then asked.

"Kinda…" Felix answered... since when did we learn how to read each other's minds?

"Wow…" I said, as I just sat there and looked at him in disbelief…

"Not like I can help it… you turn me on…" Felix said… well now you all know what's up… pun intended…

"So…?" I asked… shit am I really going there?

"What do you mean with 'so'? does this mean that you'd…" Felix left the last sentence hanging… would I?

"I… some of it… I mean making out is okay, but you know touching to a certain degree is… if that'd help then…" I said hesitantly… am I really implying what I think I'm implying here?

"You sure? I mean I might just…" Felix asked... shit this is going to happen isn't it?

"Yeah… I'll stop you if it gets too… intimate…" I replied… well shit…

I could tell that Felix had been holding his breath during our conversation, and I'm really nervous right now… that's not really a good combination…

Felix got closer again, and I could feel my heartbeat quickening… he put his hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes for a short while until he hugged me… during that hug I could feel my heartbeat get slower, and it suddenly felt like I could easily do anything…

However, when the hug stopped… do I really need to explain that one?

Felix started slowly as he kissed my cheek, and then my mouth, both very short kisses… I could feel his hands go down my arms, and up again, and it all just sent small shivers down my spine… not good… I'm getting WAY to into this…

Then Felix and I started making out… and I just couldn't help getting more and more into this… his hands were traveling all over my body, exploring… and I'd be lying if I told you mine didn't explore some of his body too…

Felix started kissing and nibbling at my neck, and the feeling of his mouth on my neck plus the feeling of his hands going all over my body got too much for me, and I involuntarily let out a small moan…

I'm starting to… really… enjoy this… okay so Felix apparently turns me on…

Then the alarm went off…

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-  
I know... I'm so mean... the alarm of all things...


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: discovering things**

[Cry's pov…]

When the alarm went off we kinda just ignored it at first, but when IT wouldn't stop WE did…

"Fuck!" Felix said angrily just before he got up and turned it off… after a little while he looked at me, a little out of breath…

"Continue where we left off?" he asked hopefully, even though he knew the alarm meant something…

"Skype, wasn't it?" I said… shit I'm really out of breath… and fuck, that was hot…

"Damn… really? Cry could wait for a little while?" Felix asked, and I let out a small chuckle…

"Okay… I take that as a no?" Felix asked….

"I guess… you'll just have to jerk off by yourself" I said, as I started to laugh…

"What about you?" he asked before my laugh infected him…

"What about me?" I asked in reply.

Felix got closer again, and I could feel my heart beating faster again when he got really close… he could just lean in and kiss me right now…

"Will you be jerking off by yourself?" he asked, with a smirk, successfully making me blush…

"Umm… I…" I said, but the combination of the question he asked and the fact that he was so close to me made me unable to finish my sentence…

"Haha, you're cute when you're like this" Felix said as he moved a little further away from me…

"Hey! I'm a manly man and you know it!" I replied.

"Sure, Ryan, sure…" he replied, and I was about to come with an answer, but then he kissed me, and I forgot all about it…

"Well… I should get going then" Felix said as he got up and started walking towards my front door… I got up and walked after him…

"Yeah… bye" I said when he had gotten ready to leave…

"Bye" Felix said just before he gave me a goodbye kiss…

And then he went outside and I closed the door after him…

And then everything dawned on me… if that clock hadn't stopped us when it did, who knew what we would have done? How far we'd go? I mean I was kinda lost in the new feelings and stuff, and Felix really wants to do this… but I don't think I'm ready for all this just yet…

Shit if this keeps up we'll be having sex in about three weeks' time, and I'm NOT ready for that…

Wait…

During sex… who'd be on top!?

I've got to research this… I'm lucky enough to get a few outside opinions on this matter, I mean people are writing fanfictions about us, so I get to see what people think of it all…

But first skype…

I turned on my computer… and then I made some snacks and stuff so I could just sit there and relax in front of the computer as long as I wanted…

I relaxed and went through a few things on my accounts, and when I checked my watch it was time for me and Felix to talk…

I waited for a few minutes and he still hadn't logged on… why? He went home to talk to me… that sounded kinda stupid…

I continued going through comments and stuff when I noticed that Felix finally got online… what took you so damn long?

"Hi Cry…" Felix greeted…

"Sup?" I replied…

"Cry! I've got to tell you a few things…" he said… he have to tell me something? What could that possibly be? I mean I know nearly everything about you Felix…

"Shoot" I said, still wondering what he wanted to tell me…

"You remember that guy I told you about, the one that I kinda fell for?" Felix asked, and I replied with a simple "Yeah?"

"Well we're dating! And well… we have actually been for a while now… but today we were going to test his boundaries and I think he's really gotten into me! It's been so much progress!" Felix said, radiating happiness even through the screen…

"Well that's good for you I guess…" I replied… I have no idea what to say in a situation like this… what else would I tell him? "hey, yeah, you know what? I'm that guy" or "Well yeah, but I don't think he's ready for sex anytime soon… and hey, my name is Ryan you know… do you think that's a coincidence?"

I have to tell him that I'm Cry sometime too… but first I want him to tell me everything he secretly thinks about me!

"Cry? I kinda… have something else to tell you… but I just can't do that right now…" Felix said… oh now I'm curious…

"Okay, but you do know you can trust me right? No matter what it is…" I said to encourage him to tell me…

"Yeah… but this is… I just can't right now… okay?" Felix replied… damn…

"Give me a hint of some sort?" I said… by now he should have realized that I really want to know…

"I could tell you that it has to do with my ex-girlfriend…" he said, and this just perked my interest even more… what does he mean by that? Is he cheating on me!? He's not gay after all!? What's up!?

"Damn Felix! Now I REALLY have to know!" I replied…

"Yeah I… I can't… I told you because I thought maybe… maybe I'd be able to tell you if… but I can't…" Felix said… Felix you Goddamn teaser!

"Felix…" I said in a darker tone, signalizing that I was starting to get irritated…

"I'm sorry Cry… and hey… I noticed that you've been calling me by my real name lately… why's that? You used to always call me Pewds or Pewdie…" Felix asked… oh shit… I'm kinda giving myself away here… but wait… it doesn't really matter…

"That's because you told me you wanted me to call you Felix…" I replied… so it's time, huh?

"Oh I did? I can't remember that… but oh well… I prefer that anyway…" Felix said… fuck he's slow… oh well… let's just go with this…

"Yeah… but what were we talking about again? Oh yeah, tell me!" I replied…

"No, Cry I just can't! It wouldn't be fair… or I don't… it would actually be wrong of me to tell you right now… I'm such a jerk…" Felix said… what, the, fuck!? What could possibly? WHAT!?

"Felix!? What the hell!?" I asked, I was starting to get REALLY impatient now… and angry…

"Just drop it…" Felix said… he sounds kinda depressed…

"Felix…" I said… seeing that he's really depressed by this calmed me down quite efficiently…

"Just… drop it…" Felix said again…

Frank is hanging on me again… damn you Frank…

Frank stayed during the silent period our conversation currently had…

"S-so… does… does your boyfriend like games?" I asked, trying to get Frank off our backs… but after that I kinda felt all warm inside… haha… boyfriend… Felix is my boyfriend…

"Yeah, he kinda have the same interests as you do…" Felix replied…

"He does?" I asked, even though I already knew that…

"Yeah…" there was a short pause after this… "you don't seem fazed by this at all…" Felix then said… what does he mean by that?

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked…

"Umm… it's nothing… I wasn't supposed to say that…" Felix said, and I could clearly see that he was fretting over it a lot…

"Well, you did say it… so now you have to tell me…" I said…

"No I… it's just… no you probably don't anyway…" Felix said…

"Felix, come on man! You're teasing me WAY too much today…" I said, and although I didn't mean anything with it, it did sound kinda wrong…

"I know… but it's just… I have a lot on my mind… especially since I'm dating him… because… you remember when I told you about when I met him? And that I also told you that I had someone else that I had liked before him? And that I have no faith in the fact that that person might ever agree to date me? Well that person gave me some signs that… well say otherwise… and it all just… messes with my head… don't get me wrong… I'm not going to break up with him, I'm really glad he actually agreed to date me… and I really want this relationship to last… but it still messes with my head… and I'm still not sure who I like the most… but right now he's the one for me I guess…" Felix said… or rather confessed… the fuck!? Well I can't tell him that I'm me yet… that's for sure… I need to know everything first…

"Wow… but didn't you test out boundaries today? What were you thinking? I mean if your head is messed up, then you shouldn't do stuff like that…" I replied… make your move Felix…

"No, that's not it… I got those signs from that other person today after the whole testing boundaries thing…" Felix said… so who did he talk with before this!? He was supposed to go straight home and talk to me… damn I need explanations…

"But didn't you say that you just came home? And besides, who is this person anyway!? I mean you even delayed our conversation because of him… or her… no wait, you're gay… him…" I replied.

"Well that's… I'm not ready to tell anyone yet, okay?" Felix asked... are you serious Felix!?

"Fine… don't tell me anything at all…" I replied, quite angrily if I must say so myself…

"Cry… don't be like that… I'm just not ready to tell anyone yet…" Felix then said… damn it Felix, I need answers!

"Oh for fuck's sake Felix, how long have we known each other? And for how long have we been best buds!?" I asked…

"Cry… don't use that on me… and besides, you never tell me stuff from your life…" Felix replied…

"Yes I do!" I said… probably shouldn't have said that… but you know, I'm kinda pissed off at the fact that he's not willing to tell me anything at all…

"Oh really? Then tell me all about all your love stories Cry! Tell me who you currently have an interest in! Or maybe you don't have one right now? Did you just have one? I have no idea because you never tell me stuff like this!" Felix rage-replied… well damn… I sat there silently for a little while until I had thought things a little through and decided to "fuck it"…

"I… I do currently have a person of interest… but before this person… okay so let's just start at the beginning shall we? My first interest was this girl named Amanda… she was nice to everyone and I really liked her because of her nature… I once got the courage to ask her out, but she turned me down because she had a boyfriend… a few years later we ended up in the same class again and she asked ME out… I said yes even though I didn't have feelings for her anymore because I didn't have the heart to turn her down… we were together for a year, and I had started to get feelings for her again… but then she broke up with me… told me she finally found out that she was gay… that was my first person of interest… and I haven't really had anyone serious after that… well until now…" I said… damn… it felt kinda good to let all of that out though… I mean I hadn't really told anyone… I left out the fact that she had told me that she wanted me to be her last male companion because she knew I was a good person, and that she would have married me if she wasn't a lesbian… but is that really necessary to bring up?

"Damn Cry… that… that must have been hard on you…" Felix said… you know that feeling you get when you didn't really mind something but then someone brought it up, and you felt the hurt and sadness you should have felt earlier? Well I have that right now… it's not like I like her anymore… but your first will always be your first…

"I guess… but I never really thought about it after that… I guess I just moved on with my life…" I said… I sounded so hurt and depressive for a moment there… that was NOT my intention… but does life ever listen to what you want? No… no it doesn't…

"But hey, at least I found someone else, right?" I said… I don't want Frank to return…

"I guess… who is this person of interest anyway?" Felix asked… oh shit…

"Umm…" I started… think Ryan, think! "Well you're not telling me who that person you're interested in is, so I'm not telling until you do…" oh shit, oh shit, what do I do if he actually tells me?

"Fuck… okay you got a clue from me, so it's your time to give me one!" Felix said, and I could tell how much he wanted to know… Felix you're way too curious…

"Well… it's a he…"

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

okay so this is the longest chapter till now... but it kinda just wrote itself...

and guys... this story have gotten 10 chapters already, and based on the next chapter it will most likely be about 10 more chapters... I only intended for it to have about 5... because I don't like writing that much and I don't really have the time to do it... and this is about the 6 th story I have written in my entire life... and it's the first fanfic I've ever written (not only the first I upload... but also the fist I have written... at all) ... so I'm really glad you guys like it! that really makes me happy...

I've gotten nothing but nice comments, and without them I wouldn't have written more than about 3 chapters until I gave up on it... (I can't function without someone telling me that I have to continue what I'm doing... quite silly actually...)

you guys have no idea how happy your comments make me... I'm nearly crying tears of happiness each time I read one of your comments...


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: the countdown**

[Cry's pov…]

"Well… it's a he…" Oh fuck… did I just tell him that!?

"WHAT!? Cry? Are you gay!?" Felix asked in both shock and disbelief…

"No… I don't think so… I guess I'm gay for him…" that sounds so cliché… but damn that does explain it all… I mean I've always liked girls… but Felix is… different… it's only him… it's not like I "check guys out"… I'm only interested in Felix… wow… I'm really starting to get serious feelings for Felix aren't I? Fuck… which means I have to do everything I can in the power of Cry to stop him from choosing that other guy he's interested in!

"Really? Well that's… umm… well…" Felix started, and I couldn't help notice how depressed and demotivated he was… "So… who is he?" Felix asked…

"Felix… we've been over this… I'm not telling until you do…" I said…

"Then… let's agree on a date that we absolutely have to tell each other… because I think I need that to actually tell you…" Felix said… that's not really okay…

"Okay… when?" I really need to know that much, huh?

"I don't know… in a months' time?" Felix asked… yeah that sounds about fine…

"No… I need to know… twenty days? That's a compromise between yours and mine… trust me…" I replied… you know what? Fuck it… I'm totally fine with whatever my brain comes up with…

"That means you were going for… ten days!? Really!? No… okay I'll take your offer…" Felix replied…

"Then it's set… we have an agreement… you can't back out of it now Felix…" I said… but neither can I…

"Yeah…" Felix replied…

After that we kinda just talked about everything and nothing… mostly games… and after a while we said our goodbyes and logged off… and I went to sleep…

Tomorrow there's no school… fuck yeah!

I lied down on my bed and drifted off to sleep as I thought about my conversation with Felix and how I would spend my weekend with him…

The next day I woke up because of the doorbell… so I got dressed and walked downstairs…

When I opened the door I knew what would greet me…

"Good morning Ryan" Felix said with one of the brightest smiles I have ever seen… someone is excited about the weekend…

"Morning Felix" I replied.

Felix then proceeded to give me a morning kiss… these kisses have become a natural thing for me by now… I guess we've become a happy couple thingy…

As we went to the living room and sat down at my couch I thought about all the things we had been talking about the previous day… so twenty days… wait does this day count? If that's the case it's nineteen days until a potential break up between me and Felix… that's kinda sad… it all depends on if he's willing to go for me or go over to that other person… fuck, I hope he picks me… because I don't think I can go through another "Amanda episode"… the first one was bad enough…

"Ryan? Earth to Ryan…" Felix said, and I snapped out of my previous thoughts…

"Yeah? What is it?" I replied…

"What were you thinking about? You looked kinda worried…" Felix asked… naw, you're so cute when you worry about me…

"It was nothing, just thinking about a few things…" I replied with a smile spread across my face.

"Okay… so what do you want to do today?" Felix asked.

"I'm not sure… do you have anything in mind?" I asked in reply…

"No… nothing in particular… go out somewhere maybe?" Felix replied.

"Yeah… a movie maybe?" I asked, and I could see him getting excited.

"Yeah, there's this cool new movie out, we could go see that?" Felix said… haha, yeah that sounds like us… going to see a cool new movie… it's like, nope, we're not going to see some romantic comedy or something, are you kidding me? We're going to see horror and action movies! Wow, what kind of couple are we? Haha, but that's how I like it…

I couldn't help but snicker as those thoughts passed through my mind, before replying "Yeah, let's do that"

We went to the get our tickets and to check when the movie started, and as it turned out we were about two hours early…

"Eat at a restaurant?" Felix asked, and I just nodded in response…

After a lot of talking and laughing at the restaurant we got our food, and the food was pretty well made… after we finished eating we started talking together again.

"Ryan! We have about 10 minutes until the movie starts!" Felix said in panic before we hurriedly paid for the food and ran towards the door at the restaurant…

We made it just in time…

After the movie ended we started walking back to my house, and during that walk we talked about what we liked about the movie and what we didn't like about it…

When we had entered my house, we sat down at my couch again…

"So, games I presume?" Felix asked.

"Yeah" I replied.

We played games until we felt tired… yes, we could do that because there wasn't any school tomorrow…

"Felix… I'm starting to get really sleepy…" I said.

"Okay, then let's go to sleep" he replied.

After that we walked upstairs and I started making everything ready, but then Felix stopped me…

"Ryan… you don't really have to do that anymore… I mean isn't it okay to sleep in the same bed? I mean it's not really necessary to get that matrass out anymore… it's too much trouble when we could avoid it…"Felix said carefully… it's not like it would be a problem to get the matrass ready for him, but I guess he really wants to… cuddle and stuff…

The thought of me and Felix cuddling together in a bed made me blush slightly.

"Okay…" I replied.

Felix lightened up and hugged me before we went to bed…

It was kinda nice actually… Felix's arms were around me… and I realized that I had the female role right now… fuck… I swear I'm a manly man!

"Goodnight Ryan" Felix said and my previous worries and thoughts were swept away as I could hear his words so close to me… it was like I could hear it through his chest…

"Night Felix…" I said… and since we're talking about chest… I could hear his heartbeat and it was so soothing and relaxing… and eventually I fell asleep while listening to it…

That was the first day of the twenty days until a possible break up… 19 days left…

I woke up and as I opened my eyes I could see Felix looking at me with a smile… I swear he's never asleep… how the fuck do you even function Felix?

"Good morning Ryan" Felix said, and I smiled as I said my good morning back… I then proceeded to lean in and give him a good morning kiss… haha, I beat you to it Felix! And everyone knows the male in the relationship makes the first move!

"I'll go make breakfast, okay?" Felix said happily as he got up from the bed and started walking down towards the kitchen… HA! Another female role taken on by you! Maybe I really can turn the roles around and be on top!?

I then got dressed and walked down to the kitchen and ate breakfast with Felix…

"So what do you want to do today?" he asked… hadn't really thought about that…

"I don't know… I just like spending time with you… so whatever you feel like doing…" I said… wow… that was a really huge shock for Felix… and he seemed to nearly explode of happiness from it…

"Then let's just hang out and do everything and nothing!" Felix said, and I couldn't have come up with anything better to do myself… wow, this weekend was really badly planned on both parts... but that's okay… I guess that's just how it's supposed to be between us… a lot of badly planned actions…

"Yeah, let's do that" I replied with a smile…

So we kinda ended up talking about stuff we liked, disliked and useless stuff… like what we'd do in a series of events… like aliens invading the earth… well it'd be useful if that happened, but it hasn't yet… and then we played some games… don't we always?

After a while we got tired of playing games and decided to just go back to talking… after a while of talking though…

"So have your feelings for me increased yet?" Felix asked jokingly, but I could see that he really wanted to know…

"Nope, not at all…" I said, trying to keep my calm… but when I saw how depressed he got I decided to end the joke there…

I leaned over and kissed him just before I said "I was kidding Felix…"

And the look on his face after that was just priceless… it was just like a kid when he opened a present on Christmas and saw exactly what he wished for…

"Oh thank God!" Felix said before he gave me a kiss in return…

"Actually I'm… I'm starting to get… I'm starting to get a lot of feelings for you…" I said, and I could feel my cheeks getting warmer… I am in a way confessing to him…

"Progress!" Felix said happily just before he jumped on me, successfully pushing me over so that my back was on the couch… déjà vu…

"Felix…" I said hesitantly before he kissed me…

"It's okay Ryan… I'm not going to do anything… I'm just really happy that you're starting to let me in to your heart…" Felix said… fuck, I'm falling WAY too deeply for him…

"Okay…" I said just before I contradicted my previous behavior by kissing him passionately…

"Wow… are you trying to seduce me?" Felix asked as he looked at me with lust filled eyes…

"No, not really… I'm not ready to go too far with you yet… I'm not too sure about how I really feel about you… but I know that I'm getting there…" I said… and that was the truth… I mean I AM falling for him… or maybe I already have… just a little though… but at the same time I'm trying hard to not fall for him… because of that whole thing about him having another "person of interest"…

"Then why are you making me… no, it doesn't matter… but you really have to stop seducing me all the time… I'll take it the wrong way…" Felix said, laughing a little at the end of the sentence…

"Noted…" I replied… there was a hint of another meaning behind his sentence… like he didn't know what he would do to me if I did seduce him another time…

"Good…" Felix said before he got off me… I kinda liked having him o- NOPE, we're not going to go there…

"It's kinda getting late… and I don't have any of the stuff I need for school here…" Felix then said… it took a while for me to realize what he had said… mainly because I had been in a daze… I'm kinda getting too close to wanting to go further with him…

"Yeah I guess…" I said… I sounded so depressed… like I never wanted him to leave… well… I guess it's more like I don't want the time to go so fast… the day of possible break up between me and Felix is getting closer and closer…

"Hey, don't be so sad, I mean we'll be able to see each other tomorrow at school… and then after school?" Felix said comfortingly at first, but ended it with a questioning tone…

"Yeah…" I simply said in return… I want to spend the rest of our time together… fuck… that feels like we're going to die… well a part of me IS going to die if this really ends…

"Okay, then I'll be going home now… goodbye Ryan" Felix said just before he gave me a kiss.

"Yeah… goodbye…" I replied… I was thankfully able to uphold my halo in front of him, but on the inside I felt really sad… because I knew that this might be one of the last goodbyes we'll share like this… the countdown to the last goodbye kiss… just like the thought of the fact that each minute that passes might be our last…

Fuck now I'm really depressed… I feel like watching TV shows and eat ice-cream…

Damn… I better just set the alarm and go to sleep before I get a ton of ice-cream and get fat…

When I lied down in my bed I tried sleeping, but I just couldn't because I was thinking about all the depressive things I could…

No, Ryan… you just have to start thinking about happy stuff so that you might get at least SOME sleep… like puppies… they're cuddly and warm and funny… just like… Felix… pfft, Felix is a puppy…

That line of thoughts made me able to eventually fall asleep…

I really like Felix…

That was the second day of the twenty days until a possible break up… 18 days left…  
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

This is getting really sad... I'm sorry...


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: found out**

[Cry's pov… I'm starting to think this whole thing will be in Cry's pov… well maybe not around chapter 18 or something…]

I woke up, got dressed, ate breakfast and went to school… I've been missing Felix a lot… I've fallen really hard for Felix haven't I? fuck… I told myself to not do that… but I guess it's too late now… why did I get myself into this in the first place!? I mean he told me from the start that there was someone else for him…

Ryan what are you doing to yourself?

When I arrived at our school I found Felix pretty fast and we were together the whole school day… I didn't even care if people listened in on us when we were talking, but I never really talked to them… I only talked to Felix… although Kathrin was watching me suspiciously the whole time… oh well it's probably just because I'm ignoring her and talk a lot…

And then school was over…

Felix and me went to my house as planned and once again sat down at my couch… it's like it's pulling us inn… we can't escape my couch!

I snickered as that thought went through my mind… Felix just looked curiously at me…

"It's nothing Felix… I just thought of something funny… well no, it's silly actually…" I said… wow, now I'M reading HIS mind…

"What were you thinking then?" Felix asked.

"No, it was just that it seems like we always end up in my couch…" I answered...

Felix looked at me for a little while until he realized it, and then proceeded to laugh for a little while… I love his laughter…

"Well I guess we kinda do…" he then said after his laughter ended…

"Yeah…" I said silently as I couldn't stop a small smile from appearing on my face…

Felix got closer to me and gave me a small kiss… fuck everything is so perfect…

Well at least I thought that until I remembered the fact that all of this might end after seventeen days have passed…

It wasn't a particular eventful day, but it still felt special because I could be with Felix…

Okay so there's really no question anymore… I like Felix… a lot…

A few days passed like that and it is currently Thursday… 14 days left until a possible break up…

I woke up and got dressed, ate, and went to school… just my ordinary routine before school… Felix had actually spent the night on Tuesday, but nothing really happened… we slept in the same bed again, but it was the same as last time he spent the night… although this time I got affirmation that he actually DOES sleep… because he woke up at the same time as me from the alarm…

At school today we just talked like usual until Amelia asked me if she could talk to me alone… I said okay because I kinda think she's a cool person to be with… and I kinda respect her for not giving in to the "popular gang" in our class…

We went into an empty classroom which were located in an area at school that people didn't have any classes in until about four hours from now…

"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" I asked.

"Well it's just… Ryan? Can I… umm… can I ask you a personal question?" she asked… oh fuck… I think I know where this is going… when a girl blushes and asks you a question like that it usually only means one thing…

"Sure…" I replied…

"Well you see… umm… are you… you're Cry aren't you?" she asked, and I got seriously nervous… fuck, fuck, fuck, what do I say, what do I do!?

"Don't worry! I'm not going to tell anyone… it's just… I've kinda known for a while now…" she then said… thank God SHE was the one that found out…

"How…?" I asked, still nervous as fuck…

"I guess I realized it before Pewds appeared, but I never really believed it… but when I saw how you reacted upon his arrival I just knew…" she said…

"You just knew what?" Kathrin said as she entered the room… oh fuck…

"Kathrin!? How much did you hear!?" Amelia said as she blushed furiously… I'm so screwed…

"I heard 'saw how you reacted upon his arrival I just knew' and that's it…" she answered truthfully… it seems like she always respects Amelia's wishes…

"Okay… umm…" Amelia started, probably trying to figure out what to say… and I was a nerve wreck by now… Kathrin just looked between me and Amelia for a while, trying to figure out what the fuck we had been talking about…

"Oh wait… now I get it!" Kathrin said, and I that feeling of "my life is so over" returned…

"Y-you do?" Amelia asked nervously…

"Yeah… you just confessed to Ryan… but let me save you the trouble… he's into Pewds…" Kathrin said… WAIT what!? How the fuck!? What's happening here!? Why does everyone suddenly know everything about me!?

"Really?" Amelia turned towards me and asked…

"Fuck… yeah…" I replied… fuck it…

"See… I knew it… I've been watching him talk to Pewds lately and, well, it was just obvious… and I think Pewds likes him back… damn you Ryan…" Kathrin then said…

"Ryan… can I tell her? I promise you she won't tell… actually she'll be more on your side…" Amelia asked me… what the fuck ever… I don't even care anymore… they just… everything is… fuck it…

I nodded and Amelia walked over to the door of the classroom and locked the door before walking back to Kathrin…

"Kathrin… Ryan is Cry…" Amelia said… oh fuck, this is really happening…

"What? No way… I mean we have our 'possible Cry Ryans'… and he… he's…" Kathrin started but kinda drifted off… it looks like she's thinking things through carefully…

"Well, I kinda am…" I said… that seemed to snap her out of her thoughts as she looked up at me…

"No way… I don't believe you…" Kathrin said.

"So what? Do you want me to send you a fucking message from my account or something!?" I said… bad move Ryan… baaaad move…

"Yeah! Today you're not going home with Pewds! Today Amelia and me are going to follow you home!" Kathrin said… oh fuck…

"But I…" I started, but I never really got to finish that sentence…

"HA! You see Amelia!? Now he's trying to get away!" Kathrin said, and that just pissed me off…

"You know what!? Fuck it! I'll show you! It's a fucking deal!" I said angrily… damn she always make me lose my control…

"Good!" Kathrin replied, and then walked angrily out of the classroom with Amelia walking hurriedly after her… Amelia turned around when Kathrin was too busy unlocking the door to notice…

"I'm so sorry…" she said just before the both of them disappeared…

What. The. Fuck. Have. I. done?

I walked back to our classroom, and just as I sat down at my desk I could hear Felix ask "what happened?"

I opened my mouth to tell him something, but I never got to say anything because class started…

That was the last period…

I'm not going together with Felix today… I'm losing one of my precious last days with him… fuck…

Class ended and I kinda just ignored everyone as I walked outside of school, and stopped at the school gate…

"Ryan? What happened with you and amelia?" Felix asked…

"We just talked about stuff…" Amelia answered for me…

"Okay… then why are you here? What's up!?" Felix asked and I could see that he was really confused…

"Felix, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have Amelia and Kathrin over today… sorry…" I said as I looked deeply into his eyes…

I looked around and I could see that no one could see us except Amelia and Kathrin of course…

And then I kissed him…

"I'll see you tomorrow though… and don't worry about it… they kinda know… they found out…" I said…

"Wha-…okay… umm… how?" Felix asked… shit he looks really confused right now… it's kinda cute… and I couldn't help but smile lovingly at him…

"You guys are kinda obvious…" Kathrin said… she sounds so much more nice now… maybe it's because she likes Felix… or rather Pewdiepie… will she get like that towards me too when she knows I'm Cry?

"Umm… okay… I guess I'll see you tomorrow then Ryan…" Felix said… and I love the way he slightly pouted at the end of the sentence…

"Yeah… see you tomorrow Felix" I said with a smile…

Oh fuck I'm falling deeper and deeper here…


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: discovering more things**

[Cry's pov… surprise!]

The walk towards my house was quiet… I guess neither party knew what to say to the other…

I unlocked the door to my house and let them get in… I haven't had any other visitors except Felix here in a long time… I've tried avoiding getting to know anyone at all for a time now… and avoiding people at school tends to leave you with no friends from school…

"So?" Kathrin asked…

"So what?" I asked…

"So, you going to show us that you're Cry or what?" Kathrin asked angrily, and I could clearly see that she was doubting this whole thing…

"Oh right… I forgot about that…" I said… I really had…

"Oh I bet you had…" Kathrin said… something about her pisses me off…

"Oh shut up…" I said in response, quite angrily if I must say so myself…

She didn't answer, she just looked at me with annoyance…

I ignored her annoyed stare and proceeded to walk over to my computer… the both of them following me, Amelia because she was curious, and Kathrin kinda just followed me with her arms crossed over her chest… she's really getting on my nerves… like always…

"So anyway… this is where I record everything…" I said before I turned on my computer…

"Whatever, let's just see it, shall we?" Kathrin said… for fucks sake…

"Kathrin! That's enough!" Amelia said just before I was about to tell her something along those lines myself…

"Oh shut it… just because you like him…" Kathrin started angrily but never finished… wait… does Kathrin possibly?

"Ryan? what's that file?" Amelia asked as she pointed to the last video I made…

"Oh that's the one I was going to edit and publish today…" I replied…

"Can we see it!?" Amelia asked, and I swear I could see sparkles in her eyes…

"Sure… but as I said, it's not edited yet…" I replied…

"That's alright…" Amelia said happily… and this apparently caught Kathrin's attention…

"You have no idea how much of a Cry fan Amelia is Ryan…" Kathrin said…

"Kathrin!" Amelia said as she started to blush furiously… she's kinda cute… if I hadn't fallen for Felix I'd probably go for her… oh fuck… I'm treating her just like Amanda treated me aren't I!? Good thing I wasn't dating her before Felix… wait am I implying what I think I'm implying? You're not gay Ryan… and you know it… it's only Felix… would I have dumped Amelia for Felix?

"Ryan?" Amelia asked, successfully snapping me out of my previous thoughts…

"Huh? Oh yeah, I'm sorry… just thought about a few things… that's all…" I replied…

"So are we going to watch this video or what?" Kathrin asked…

"Yeah we are! Just calm the fuck down…" I replied angrily…

"Good…" Kathrin said…

I let them watch the video and I just kinda checked how they reacted to it because, well… you don't get this opportunity everyday do you? Seeing a fan up close watching your video…

When the video was over Kathrin looked a little more convinced, well until she spoke…

"But that doesn't sound like you at all… so I guess you'll just have to record one in front of us…" Kathrin said… wow, really?

"Really? Are you going to be just as slow as Felix?" I asked… fuck… that said a little too much about everything… Kathrin didn't seem to get it though…

"Wait! Does that mean… you haven't told Pewdie that you're Cry yet!?" Amelia asked… of course she'd realize it…

"Yeah… I kinda haven't… but that's because I get to know more stuff when he doesn't…" I replied…

"Ryan! That's kinda mean…" Amelia then said… yeah I guess it really is…

"I know… but it's just… he talks about everything to 'Cry' and I just have to know… and besides it's his fault for not noticing… I mean I have given him so many hints, and we talk together all the time! I don't get how he still hasn't recognized my voice yet…" I replied...

"Yeah, but a camera can't capture a glint in someone's eyes…" Kathrin said… wow… never thought I'd hear something like that from her…

"Yeah… I guess… and hey, does that mean that you believe me when I say that I'm Cry?" I asked Kathrin…

"No, still have to see that recording of yours… it doesn't seem like you, but as I said a camera can't capture a glint in someone's eyes…" Kathrin then replied… she's just amazing me more and more…

"Damn, you're smarter than I thought…" I said…

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean!?" Kathrin asked… she's angry… I guess that kinda came out wrong…

"I meant that it seems like there's more to you than I previously thought…" I corrected myself…

"Oh… thanks…" she then said as she blushed slightly… wow, so she does have this kind of side to her too… I looked at Amelia and I saw a sight I never thought I'd see from her… she looked at us with both anger and depression… wait… so is Amelia also?

"You guys… no, just forget it… let me edit this video, and then I'll record the next one…" I said… and they seemed to go along with that…

They watched me the entire time it took me to edit the video and I couldn't help but feel nervous… I'm not used to having others stare at me while I edit my videos, okay?

When I was done editing I uploaded the video to my YouTube account… and when Amelia's phone made a sound I got startled… I'm not used to hearing unknown sounds randomly either…

"Look Kathrin! It says that Cry uploaded a new video! You can't say that you don't believe him now!" Amelia said happily…

"Amelia! For fucks sake… I was trying to make it so you'd see him make a video live…" Kathrin then said… well she tried whispering, but I heard her anyway…

"So that was why you didn't believe me at all… no matter what…" I said… she turned nervously towards me and I could see that she tried forming sentences in her head to get her out of this situation…

"It wasn't really a problem you know… I mean I guess it'd be okay to let you guys watch me record a video…" I then said…

"Really?" Kathrin asked hopefully…

"Kathrin? Are you secretly a Cry fan?" Amelia asked… wow, glad she asked... that means that I don't have to…

"I… kinda… yes…" Kathrin replied with a dark blush spread across her face…

"Wow… and you've been saying all these mean stuff to me for all these years… oh well… I don't really care anyway…" I said…

"I'm sorry… I guess I've been a jerk towards you… but that's because you never would talk with me… I… I kinda liked you at the start…" Kathrin replied… what!?

"Liked me?" I asked… I need to confirm this…

"N-no, not like-like… just… I wanted to be your friend… you seemed so cool about everything, and then I got to know that you like gaming… and just… we shared so many common interests… and yet you wouldn't talk to me at all… I just… I kinda got pissed about it all, and I… I didn't know what to do about it…" Kathrin said… wow…

"Wow… I don't know what to say… I'm flattered I guess… but still… you didn't really have to be mean towards me… that's not going to make friends you know…" I replied…

"I guess you're right… so hey, want to be my friend?" Kathrin asked… WOW… just wow… all the things I've gotten to know lately… I mean just think about it… Felix broke up with his girlfriend… Felix is gay, and he likes me… Felix also have another person that he's interested in… Amelia have known that I'm Cry for some while now… and both Kathrin and Amelia knows that I'm dating Felix… and now I know that Kathrin always wanted to be my friend? Wow… just… wow…

"Yeah… sure" I said… wow, am I getting myself into a friendship too now? What happened to "let's try to make sure no one notices that I'm Cry, let's just avoid everyone"?

"YES! Finally!" Kathrin said happily…

"But hey, you guys really can't tell Felix my secret!" I said after a little while…

"Why?" Kathrin asked… am I really going to tell them everything?

"I… that's kinda a long story…" I replied…

"We have a lot of time…" Amelia said comfortingly… okay I guess I am going to tell them everything…

"Oh shit… well then I guess… sit down, this is going to take a while…" I said, and after they had taken a seat I started telling them the whole story of what had happened between me and Felix…

"Wow…" Amelia said after a while, successfully breaking the silence… and making Frank go away…

"If Pewds dares to hurt you I'll personally kill him…" Kathrin said angrily… I like her more and more…

"Haha, thanks, but I'd still love him…" I said… love him? Do I really?...

yeah I guess I do…

I love Felix…  
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

wow... I've been writing like crazy... and I'm on vacation people...

just wow... I've been writing nonstop for hours now...

hope you're happy...

I don't blame you guys though... (I've actually made some sort of deal with myself... "if I get 10 more views then I'll write the next chapter..." and stuff like that... and just wow... we've gone over 1,500 views on this one... wow...)

but I've been making so many mistakes... (I corrected them all though... I think)  
I'm kinda tired... I need sleep and I will go to sleep...

goodnight everyone...


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14: heavy feelings**

[Cry's pov…]

I love Felix…

Fuck…

Didn't I tell myself to keep my distance from him? Didn't I tell myself to not go there?

"I just… why'd you get yourself into this in the first place?" Kathrin asked…

"I honestly have no idea… I guess it just happened…" I replied…

"Damn it… he better not choose… he… this doesn't seem very bright for you does it?" Kathrin then asked…

"No it doesn't… fuck…" I said as I could feel a tear threatening to fall from the corner of my eye…

"Ryan…" Kathrin said… she sounds kinda sad… sympathy I guess…

"Don't worry about it… and thanks… it feels good to be able to tell someone…" I said… and it really did…

"Aw… Ryan…" Kathrin said, and then the both of them kinda gave me a hug… and I swear at that point it felt just as good as one of Felix's hugs… the hug was different, and yet it felt so good right now… it was so comforting and I just… I couldn't help it… I let myself cry…

The hug lasted as long as I were crying… and when I finally stopped the both of them looked at me, and I could see that they had been crying with me at some point… fuck…

"I'm sorry…" I said… well it sounded kinda slurred since I had just been crying, but still…

"It's okay Ryan…" Amelia replied "Yeah… we've always kinda cared for you… you might not remember it but there was a time when we talked a lot together… but then you shut everyone out of your life… and so, don't worry about it… you can always talk to us…" Kathrin said… I talked to them before? And… they… fuck it feels good to have someone you can call a friend this close again…

"I might have lost one of those 'precious last days' with Felix, but it doesn't matter… thanks…" I said…

"It's okay… don't worry about it Ryan" Kathrin said…

Wow… all the feelings…

"So… you guys want to do something?" I asked…

"Really? You really think you can manage right now?" Kathrin asked in reply…

"I was trying to lighten the mood a bit you know…" I replied…

"Sorry… then games?" Kathrin asked…

"Yeah… I'm up for a game…" I replied… I really need to get away from all these heavy feelings that I've been having so much of lately… I need a break… and a game is good enough…

We played games together and at first we were all still kinda hung up on the whole crying our asses off that just happened, but then we got more and more into the game and we started LAUGHING our asses off instead…

After playing for a while Kathrin and Amelia had to go home...

"Bye Ryan!" Kathrin said…

"Goodbye and goodnight Ryan" Amelia said just after…

"Yeah… goodbye…" I replied to the both of them…

After they had left I felt kinda sad that they had, and at the same time I was happy because of all the things that had happened today… and I also felt a lot lighter… like a lot of weights had been lifted from my body…

Thank God they found out… I'm not sure how much longer I would have been able to take all of this if they hadn't… and I'm not sure if I would have survived the fall if they're not there to help me up again… well if there's going to be a fall…

Shit… it probably is going to be…

Felix and I… we're going to break up aren't we?

Fuck…

I don't think I can handle that…

I REALLY hope he chooses me…

I went to bed and amazingly enough fell asleep right away… I guess I was more tired than I previously thought… all those sharing of feelings tired me out I guess…

That was the sixth day of the twenty days until a possible break up… 14 days left

I woke up and felt greater than I had for days… wow, who knew sharing ones feelings and crying could feel so good afterwards?

I went through my regular morning routine and went to school…

I didn't meet Felix, Amelia or Kathrin… strange…

I went inside and sat down at my seat… that's when I noticed that there wasn't anyone else there…

Why?

I checked my clock, and I had been a little too fast this morning… I guess I was really excited to see them again today…

I started drawing… because why not? I have time…

I got so lost in what I was drawing that I didn't notice that people had been slowly showing up, one after the other…

Suddenly someone slammed their hand on my desk and I got so surprised that I fell backwards in my chair which, of course, caused it to fall backwards…

"Ow! What the fuck man?" I asked angrily…

"Sorry, I just had to" Kathrin said, followed by a snicker…

"Fuck… you…" I started saying, but then I completely lost my words…

"Haha, here, take my hand…" Kathrin then said… I took her hand and got up… wow, haven't this been one hell of a way to start your morning?

"You okay?" Kathrin then asked… everyone in class was staring now… I mean they hadn't seen us get along ever…

"Yeah… don't worry about it…" I replied… and that's when I realized that I had been smiling the whole time…

"So you doing anything special today?" she asked, and I could see in the corner of my eyes that everyone had their mouths agape…

"Not really… was going to go with Felix… but other than that, no…" I replied…

"What the serious fuck!? When did you get so close to Ryan!?" one of the girls in Kathrin's "gang" asked…

"Well I used to be a long time ago, and now we kinda became friends again…" Kathrin answered…

And that's when I noticed that Felix had been watching the whole thing… I walked over to him…

"Morning Felix" I said happily…

"Morning…" he replied… he seems kinda depressed… or maybe thoughtful would be the right word…

"Sup?" I asked…

"Nothing much… I just… are you really going to hang out with them again?" he asked… wow… if I said yes I feel like I'd hurt him greatly…

"No, just… umm… I think I'll hang out with them tomorrow…" I said as I turned around shortly at the end to throw Kathrin an apolitically look… I received an understanding look in return…

"Okay" Felix said… he seems to light up whenever I tell him something he's really happy with…

The period started and then ended, and we had recess… but this time I wasn't only talking to Felix… in fact Amelia, Kathrin, Felix and me all talked together… who would have thought that?

At the end of school I said my goodbyes to Amelia and Kathrin and started walking how with Felix… yeah that feels kinda right… I've missed talking to him...

Fuck…

This is how I feel after just one day without him now?

I am so screwed if he doesn't choose me…

We arrived at my house and sat down at the legendary couch like usual…

"So… what DID you talk about with Kathrin and Amelia?" Felix asked… fuck… what do I reply to that?

"Umm… just a lot of different things…" I ended up on replying with…

"Ryan… really? I want to know…" Felix said…

"I just… we talked about love and stuff, okay?" I replied… oh fuck…

"Love?" he asked… shit!

"I love you Felix…"  
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

I wasn't going to write more tonight... but then I got that last review that made me so incredibly happy that I just couldn't help it...

so I wrote this... but now it's 4.33 am so sleep...


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: changing**

[Cry's pov…]

"I love you Felix…" I said…

Felix just kinda stared at me for a while in shock… I don't blame him for that… I mean if I could stare at myself in shock, I would…

"Really!?" he then said in absolute happiness as my words kinda dawned on him…

"Y-yeah…" I replied… what am I getting myself into now?

Felix just sat there for a while looking happily at me until he gave me a hug…

"You have no idea how much power your hugs have over me…" I said.

"I'm starting to get how much you like them, yes…" Felix replied, happiness still radiating, no glowing from him… wow, I didn't think a person could ever glow happiness…

"Damn… don't you ever dare use those hugs against me…" I said…

"Haha, I'll try to not use them against you… although I have no idea how to do that…" Felix replied…

"Good" I said…

We kinda just stayed like that for a while… and when Felix eventually ended the hug I was in a daze… I just… his hugs feels REALLY good okay?

"So games?" I asked after a little while…

"I… I want to just cuddle and stuff first… fuck, I'm so happy right now!" Felix said… seeing him happy makes me happy too…

"Okay…" I said as I hugged him again…

"Haha, you REALLY like hugging me, huh?" Felix asked…

"Yeah… I told you that earlier, didn't I" I replied…

"Ryan… I'm starting to think you're only in on this for the hugs here…" Felix said jokingly…

"Fuck yeah" I replied.

We both laughed for a while…

We ended up cuddling and talking for the whole day…

Felix also slept over… don't take that wrong this time… I mean just because I told him I love him it doesn't mean that we did anything like THAT…

I kinda just drifted off to sleep as I thought how nice this day had been…

And it wouldn't have been this nice if Kathrin and Amelia hadn't found out…

This was the seventh day of the twenty days until a possible break up… 13 days left…

I woke up, and the first thing I saw was Felix's sleeping face… wow… that's one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen…

Wait! He's sleeping? I woke up before Felix!

I just stayed like that for a while… and then he started waking up…

NO! Go back to sleep! I want to watch you when you're sleeping! I thought, but as soon as I had thought it my words kinda dawned on me… fuck I'm starting to sound like some stalker creep…

"Morning Felix" I said when he had woken up a little…

"Morning…" he replied sleepily… he's so cute when he's like this…

I leaned over and kissed him softly… fuck I love him so much…

He looked at me for a while and then kissed me back… he then smiled and looked at me for a while…

"Damn… you woke up before me… and here I wanted to watch your sleeping face…" Felix said… wow, so he's the same huh?

"Well I was hoping you'd sleep a little longer…" I said as I could feel a blush appearing on my face…

"Really? You really have fallen so hard for me, haven't you? But that's okay… I mean I kinda feel the same way about you too" Felix replied…

"I kinda have… and I'm glad you do…" I said…

"Yeah… let's go get some breakfast..." Felix said with a smile...

"Yeah… let's do that" I said, retuning his smile…

We ate our breakfast and gave a lot of little kisses while we still could…

And then we went to school… wait, today is Friday… that means another weekend have snuck up on us! And we haven't planned anything this time either…

At school we met up with Kathrin and Amelia… Kathrin came with a smartass comment as usual and we all kinda laughed a bit…

I'm getting really pleased with my life here…

I really hope Felix picks me…

At school everyone was really dumbfounded because the four of us hung out and talked a lot all the time… I mean a while ago we actually had a fight and we didn't even talk to each other at all, and now we're best buds?

After school I was supposed to have Kathrin and Amelia with me, but Felix kinda came along too…

So the four of us walked home together…

When we arrived at my house and walked inside we were met with a small problem…

The couch wasn't big enough for all of us… and I never really needed any more things to sit on…

"Well… I do have a few things in my cellar, but it'd be really hard to bring it up here… so should we do it?" I asked… and everyone kinda just looked at me for a while until Amelia enthusiastically screamed "Renovation!"

"Wow…" I said…

"Yeah, she kinda loves that kind of stuff… she's thinking of getting a job as an interior designer…" Kathrin replied…

"Okay… how about you? What do you want to work as?" I asked…

"A YouTube let's player!" Kathrin said enthusiastically… wow… really? I couldn't help laughing a little…

"Hey! I'm going to get big!" Kathrin said as she looked at me with slight anger and hurt…

"Sorry Kathrin, it's just so amusing…" I said as I started laughing harder… she pouted a little before she seemed to get infected by my laughter…

"Hey guys! Are you going to help us or what!?" Felix asked from my basement… wait what!? When did he get there!? What?

"Y-yeah… we're coming now…" I replied…

After a lot of hard work and a lot of laughing we managed to get two old chairs up to my living room… they were really big and comfortable so when Kathrin and Amelia sat down in them they stayed…

"This chair is fucking amazing!" Kathrin said…

"Well I used to have them up here, and one of them used to be my seat… but… well I kinda just took them away when…" I said, but my sentence just wouldn't finish itself… I guess I was more affected by that matter than I previously thought…

I guess I have been putting all my trouble and worries to the side to be able to function properly… but now I have someone I can talk to about it all, and that makes everything surface again… it's like I've been lost in some sort of space within me were nothing would hurt me, but then again nothing could make me really happy either… I guess I really needed someone right now… and here they are… right in front of me…

I really couldn't have asked for something better than this…

"Ryan…" Kathrin started… sympathy again…

"Thanks guys… thank you so much for being willing to be here for me… I guess I kinda needed that right now…" I suddenly said, and all of them kinda just looked at me for a while, processing what I had just said… well that was until they all kinda smiled and walked over to me…

Well that was the first group hug I've had in a really long time… and fuck it felt good…

Wow I've been missing human contact a lot, haven't I?

We ended up playing games and talking a lot together and everything was just perfect…

And when it had gotten really late Kathrin and Amelia went home…

But Felix stayed…

"Well that was actually a good day… I was skeptical at first, but this was fun…" Felix said…

"Yeah… I guess it's nice to have someone over sometimes…" I said… wow, that felt like I was talking like we were an old couple…

"Hey! You have me don't you?" Felix asked in a hurt tone, well I knew he was faking it though…

"Of course Felix, of course" I said, just like that Pewdiecry video we did together… if he doesn't get that I'm Cry now…

He just laughed… he didn't realize it now either… wow… just… wow… there's a limit Felix…

"So let's go to bed then…" Felix said… that sounded wrong…

"Yeah, let's do…" I replied…

We went to sleep and gave each other our goodnight kisses…

Sleep has come so easily to me lately…

That was the eight day of the twenty days until a possible break up… 12 days left…  
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

I'm still kinda sleepy though..  
you see my dad woke me up about five hours after I went to sleep...  
I hope this chapter is alright though...

(and I kinda made one of those bets with myself again... and it looks like I'll have to write the next chapter today too...)


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16: invitation**

[Cry's pov…]

We both woke up at approximately the same time this morning…

And after that we kinda just stayed in bed until we got hungry… mainly because neither of us wanted to stop cuddling…

When we did get up though we ate breakfast and ended up in the couch and cuddled some more… wow, we're a cuddly couple today… not that I mind…

We then started playing some games… don't we always? But it was a little different this time because the whole time we were playing I sat in between Felix's legs and kinda leaned back at him while his arms were around me, holding the controller… that was because we felt like cuddling all the time…

After playing for a while, Felix paused the game and kissed my neck… fuck that's hot… especially because of the position we currently were in…

Felix's hands slid over my hips and continued upwards until they got about half way up my upper body… after getting there they went to my front and he kinda just hugged me, his arms in front of my stomach… I leaned backwards and I could feel Felix's hair tickle my neck slightly…

"So Ryan… want to test some of those boundaries again?" Felix said, his voice thick with lust… fuck this is so damn hot…

"Fuck yeah" I replied… damn I want this so much…

Felix's hands started exploring my body again and I didn't even flinch when they got in between my legs… actually I nearly welcomed it…

Then he stopped… why?

"Why'd you stop?" I asked, and I could hear him snicker a little…

"The doorbell Ryan… the doorbell…" Felix said… damn… we'll always get interrupted won't we?

I got up and walked towards the door to open it, and when I did I was met with a hug from Kathrin…

"Hey! Is Felix here?" she asked… why would she-Oh… I get it…

"Yeah…" I replied…

"Okay… then what have you guys been up to, RYAN?" Kathrin asked, subconsciously putting pressure on my name… damn, please make it more obvious would you?

"Not much… we stayed in bed until late and ate dinner for breakfast… and then we played some games…" I replied casually as we all sat down… me with Felix in the couch and them in each one of the chairs we took out of the basement…

"Okay… so have you done everything you should do today, RYAN?" Kathrin asked… seriously Kathrin? I looked at Amelia to get any sort of explanation or something but was met with an apolitical look…

No way… Kathrin you're not possibly thinking of…

"Have you done any of that editing today, RYAN?" Kathrin asked… Oh fuck no! You are not going there…

"Kathrin we need to talk… just the two of us…" I said angrily…

"Okay, whatever you say, RYAN" Kathrin said, and I kinda snapped and pulled her to my room to talk to her privately…

"What the fuck Kathrin?" I asked when I knew Felix couldn't hear me anymore…

"You have to let him know… I mean it could even push everything in your favor…" Kathrin said in response…

"Yeah maybe, but not before he tells me who his person of interest is! And he's not going to do that unless Ryan and Cry are two different people to him…" I said…

"Yeah, but by then it might be too late… do you want to lose him Ryan?" Kathrin asked, and the thought of her words becoming reality made me unable to answer her for a while… all I could do was stare at my floor and visualize the scenery of Felix leaving me for someone else… well that hurt… a lot…

"I… I don't… but I need to know… you have to understand Kathrin… I need to know…" I said…

"Sorry Ryan… but you really have to tell him… I can't really explain it, but I've got a feeling that it'll all work out if you tell him… and that a lot of things could have been avoided if you'd just tell him now…" Kathrin said…

"Wow… are you really superstitious Kathrin?" I asked in disbelief…

"No, yeah kinda a little… but I have good reasons to…" Kathrin replied…

"Really? What happened?" I asked.

"No, it's a long story… I'll tell you another time…" Kathrin answered.

"Okay, but will you quit trying to make me tell him then?" I asked, and she just nodded in response…

We went back to the others and were met with them in the process of laughing their asses off…

"So… sup?" I asked, but didn't get any response because the both of them were too busy laughing their asses off… what?

"Really? What the fuck happened here!?" Kathrin asked… wow, she gets pissed easily…

"N-nothing… just… wait…" Amelia tried desperately to answer…

"Kathrin… I guess we just have to wait for them to regain their ability to speak…" I said…

After a long while we decided to sit down because they were taking too long…

When their laughter finally died down they kinda just stared at us for a little while until Kathrin got to impatient and asked what was up again…

"It's really nothing… it was just a small thing, but it made us laugh a lot anyway…" Amelia said…

"Okay…" I said in response…

"Fuck no, I don't accept that answer… you don't just laugh like that over nothing…" Kathrin said…

"Kathrin… if you really want to know I'll tell you later…" Amelia said…

"Fine…" Kathrin replied, pouting…

"So… games anyone?" I asked… I'm really not that curious so it doesn't really matter… besides… if I really wanted to know I'd just ask and Felix would tell me…

"Yeah sure…" Kathrin replied, and the others just nodded in agreement…

We played games for a while, and Kathrin didn't try anything…

When it was getting late Kathrin and Amelia went home and Felix stayed… this was starting to turn into a routine… all of it have become a great part of my life now… and it all happened so fast… I mean, not too long ago me and Kathrin acted like we hated each other… and Felix didn't go to my school until recently either… so many things have happened since the arrival of Felix…

But I'm glad everything turned out the way it did…

Felix and I kinda just went to sleep after that…

That was the ninth day of the twenty days until a possible break up… 11 days left…

Nothing really eventful happened for the next couple of days… well except the fact that I'm seriously starting to think that Kathrin have feelings for Amelia… and Amelia probably feels the same way…

I'm thinking of doing something with that…

It's Thursday today, and the whole class was thinking of holding some sort of party…

Oh well… I don't ever attend those parties anyway…

But that party might just be the perfect opportunity to hook up Amelia and Kathrin…

Oh well, we'll see…

"Okay, so everyone have to come to our party this time! You too Ryan…" one of the self-proclaimed popular kids in class said… I think her name was Miranda… I think she was the one with a rich dad…

"Fuck no" I replied calmly…

"Yes you are…" Miranda said…

"No…" I said.

"Ryan, Ryan, Ryan… you ARE coming to my party!" Miranda then said, well more like she commanded me…

"Hey, if he doesn't want to go, he doesn't want to go…" Kathrin said in my defense…

"Oh, he'll go alright… and so will you!" Miranda then said, and there was something about her tone that gave me chills… when she said something like that it usually never ended good…

"Oh yeah? And why would that be?" Kathrin asked… I don't think that was too smart Kathrin…

"Because, my dear friend… so you remember what happened last year?" Miranda asked, and those words made everyone in class go completely silent… who could forget that?

"What happened last year?" Felix asked… oh Felix you shouldn't…

"I could show you!" Miranda said… oh fuck maybe Felix won't ever be able to tell me his person of interest…

"Don't worry about that, I'll tell him… and fuck, alright I'll go to your stupid party…" I said…

"Ryan?" Felix asked confused… I don't blame him… if I didn't know what she talked about I guess I'd be just as confused by the fact that the whole class was easily horrified by a few simple words from a girl that looked like you could easily flip her over with one finger…

"Just… don't go there Felix…" I said…

Fuck… so we all have to go to her party…

"So when is this stupid party of yours?" Kathrin asked between gritted teeth's…

"It's this weekend, on Saturday to be more precise, and you all have to dress up pretty and come to school at 4 pm… one of my escorts will then follow you to my mansion… you will be split up in groups and each group will have one escort… I will be handing out the papers with the groups on them tomorrow… if you have any questions or if you have any wishes to be with a certain person, just come and ask me…" Miranda answered… well she talked to the whole class so I guess it was more like a declaring…

Great…

We're all forced to go to her party…

Well at least it's not until Saturday…  
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-  
I wasn't really motivated to write this chapter, but all the reviews I got pulled me through it...

I'm still not getting enough sleep though... (but don't worry... I'm fine...)

not to sure if I'll be able to write the next chapter tomorrow though... (even though I'm slightly motivated to write it... because shit is going to hit the fan at that party... and wow... the time has nearly run out...)


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: secrets**

[Cry's pov…]

"I can't believe that bitch!" Kathrin said angrily…

School had ended and the four of us had gotten back to my place…

"You used to hang with her you know…" I said…

"Ryan… I have something on you so you better not push me any further than this…" Kathrin replied… well fuck…

"Sorry…" I replied…

"Yeah, you better be…" Kathrin said.

"Kathrin… how is that any better than what Miranda did? And besides, it's probably going to be like all the other parties she have held… and that means that we can leave after about an hour…" Amelia replied… wow… she really knows how to control Kathrin…

"Fuck… alright… I'm sorry Ryan…" Kathrin then said in a low voice… wow… just wow… Amelia have so much power over her…

"It's alright… I mean you got angry… I know how stupid angriness makes us…" I replied…

"Yeah… I guess the both of us get angry over small things at times, don't we?" Kathrin said… yeah I guess Kathrin and me are similar at times… but she gets angry more often than me… well I got angry at Miranda too, but I don't show it as much as Kathrin does I guess…

"Wait, what was the thing that made you so pissed that day you exploded?" Kathrin asked…

"Umm…" I replied, trying to find the right words…

"Actually that was my fault… I kinda made moves on him when he was sleeping and stuff… and on top of that I repeated it just after I told him about it…" Felix said… really? Because that doesn't sound wrong at all…

"What the fuck did you do to him!?" Kathrin asked…

"Don't worry… it was only a kiss… but still… as I told you earlier I had a lot of things to think about and it all just…" I replied…

"It's okay… I can relate strongly to that feeling…" Kathrin said… I have to get more out of her… but something tells me that she won't tell anything in front of the others…

"Hey Kathrin? Could I talk to you alone later? I have something I want to ask you…" I said…

"Why wait? I mean Amelia and Pewds could just play games and stuff… and they seemed to get along quite nicely if I remember correctly..." Kathrin said… she sounded a little angry at the last part…

"Okay… then let's go…" I replied…

Kathrin and me had been talking in private a lot lately… I wonder how Felix feels about that…

"So what did you want to ask me?" Kathrin asked…

"Well… umm… you like Amelia don't you? I mean not as a friend… but as more than that…" I said, and the reaction I got out of Kathrin was just priceless…

"N-no, I… I no…" Kathrin tried but couldn't finish… she's blushing a lot and wow… never thought I would see Kathrin ever react like this…

I had to try my hardest not to laugh…

"So that's a yes… have you told her?" I asked, and I couldn't help smiling at her…

"No… and that's kinda one of the things that's always on my mind… it irritates me that I can't tell her…" Kathrin then said, still blushing, but she seems more relaxed now…

"I'm sure everything will work out eventually" I replied.

"Yeah… and hey, were the whole other person of interest and all that the things that were on your mind the time you blew up?" Kathrin asked…

"Kinda… that plus the fact that I'm Cry and that I didn't really know what I felt about Felix… and he had already confessed to me by then, and I just… I didn't know what to tell him…" I replied… now I feel bad about it all…

"Wow, you DID have a lot to think about… I mean you have the whole burden of actually being cry on top of that… recording videos and stuff… and we have school… wow…" Kathrin said… I didn't think of it that way… I guess I had a lot more on my mind than I previously thought…

"Yeah… thanks…" I replied…

"Don't worry about it Ryan…" Kathrin said… wow, I get that sentence a lot don't I? Don't worry about it…

"And hey, don't worry about it yourself Kathrin…" I replied.

"Haha, yeah, I won't… thanks I guess…" Kathrin said…

"It's alright… I mean I know how important it is to be able to talk to someone about it…" I said…

"Yeah… I guess it really is…" Kathrin replied…

"So, should we head back to the others then?" I said, and I was about to walk back when Kathrin stopped me by grabbing my arm…

"Ryan... I'm glad we became friends again…" she said.

"Yeah… I'm glad we did too…" I replied…

We just stood there for a while until Kathrin looked down and let go of my arm…

"I… there's something else I want to talk about…" Kathrin said.

"Okay… shoot…" I replied…

"I kinda… I think that… I think Miranda's plan is to figure out which Ryan at school is Cry…" Kathrin said…

"Really? Are you kidding!? What the fuck do I do about that!?" I said… Oh I'm feeling the nerves now…

"I'm not sure… I guess she won't give up unless she gets at least some juicy facts about everyone… I don't think she's going to let anyone go unless she have gotten enough secrets… and she WILL use that happening against us…" Kathrin said… oh fuck…

"Shit… what do I do? I mean Felix is going to be there and I'm not ready for him to, no anyone to know yet…" I said…

"Don't worry about it… if the fact that the two of you are dating comes out I think she'll be more than enough pleased with that… let's just hope she gets to that secret first…" Kathrin said…

"I really hope she doesn't go there…" I replied… what the fuck do I do about this?

"Me too… I mean I can understand that you want to remain unknown…" Kathrin said…

"Yeah… but you know… this means that your secret might come out too…" I replied…

"Oh fuck… I didn't think about that… shit, what do I do about this!?" Kathrin said, and I could see that she was freaking out…

"Well… I guess you could get away with only telling them that you're into girls or something…" I replied…

"Yeah! That would be good enough for her I guess… thanks Ryan!" Kathrin said.

"Hey, if you hadn't told me about this I wouldn't be able to help you, so thanks in return…" I said… we've become such good friends in such a short amount of time… I guess that it's because we know everything about each other… I guess I really did talk to her before I shut everyone out of my life…

"Well… as I said I THINK that's her plan… because I… no forget it…" Kathrin said…

"Kathrin… tell me…" I replied.

"No it's just… that was originally my plan… and seeing as she made sure everyone will come to her party…" Kathrin said…

"Wow… really? Well that was a good plan… why didn't you go through with it earlier then?" I replied…

"Well… I kinda realized that if you hadn't told people by now you didn't want to tell us now… and it felt like that would be forcing you to tell us… and that would be wrong…" Kathrin said.

"Yeah… you're right… I don't like all the attention… I mean I get enough of it now, and you could imagine it if people knew who I was… I need breaks… I'm a natural loner…" I replied truthfully…

"Yeah I know… your secret is better left untold… especially in our class… they'd go crazy..." Kathrin said…

"Yeah… well if you don't have anything else you want to talk about… let's go back?" I asked.

"Yeah… I guess we should… they're probably waiting for us…" Kathrin replied.

"Yeah" I simply replied.

"But I swear, if those two is laughing their asses off this time too, I don't know what I'll do!" Kathrin said.

"Haha, don't worry about it, I mean it's good that they're getting along, isn't it? What if they hated each other?" I replied as we started walking back to the living room…

"Yeah that would be a problem… fine, but I'll never let them get TOO close…" Kathrin said…

"That's fine by me…" I replied, because honestly… I want Felix for myself…

When we returned to my living room the two of them just sat there and smiled like idiots…

"What is it this time?" Kathrin asked.

"It-it's nothing…" Amelia said, but I could see that she had problems with holding back her laughter…

"Yeah right… you still have to tell me though… and you never told me about last time either…" Kathrin said… if I hadn't been standing so close to her I probably wouldn't have picked up on the slightly sad undertone she had… but I did…

"We have something serious we have to talk to you guys about…"  
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-  
I've been dragged around all day so I haven't had any time to write...  
(why do people want me to be so social!?)


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18: games**

[Cry's pov…]

"We have something serious we have to talk to you guys about…" I said…

The room fell silent as all of them looked at me… Felix and Amelia looked at me with worry and curiosity, and Kathrin with complete and utter confusion… really?

"We do?" Kathrin asked… damn she's slow at times…

"Yeah… it's about the party…" I replied…

"Oh… that… a-are you sure?" Kathrin said as she blushed faintly… the look I gave her was supposed to tell her to calm down and that I wouldn't tell them her secret or anything, and by the looks of it she understood it…

"Yeah…" I said calmly before turning back to Felix and Amelia.

"Okay… the thing is… Kathrin and me have talked about it, and we think that the thing Miranda wants is to get a lot of secrets out of everyone…" I said as calm as ever…

Felix and Amelia looked at each other and then back at me…

"What!?" Amelia asked, but it was more like she just said it because she couldn't believe what I had said… why's that? Does she have some sort of secret that none of us knows about?

"We have good reason to believe that those are her intentions…" Kathrin said, answering before I got the chance to do so myself…

"Why do you have such good reasons for believing that?" Felix asked.

"Because it was originally my plan for figuring out… something…" Kathrin answered… that was a close one Kathrin…

"You mean the… oh… but that plan was as good as bulletproof…" Amelia said, and Felix looked confused once again… poor guy… we never tell him anything…

"Yeah… it was..." Kathrin said… she sounds so depressed… I looked at her knowingly and kinda just put my hand on her shoulder… she looked kinda surprised by this, and I guess I can understand that… it's not really like me to take the initiative to do any affectionate actions… and especially not when it comes to physical contact like this… but she seemed really glad that I did though… I think she understood what I intended by it… how much it really meant…

"Thanks Ryan…" Kathrin said with a slightly sad smile…

"Don't worry about it…" I replied, returning her smile with one of my own…

After my attempt at comforting Kathrin I noticed that Felix and Amelia were having some sort of telepathic conversation through their eyes… what? When did this start!? By the looks of it Felix was trying to comfort Amelia… and Amelia was just freaking out… why!? Did they talk about something when we were in my bedroom?

What!?

"Okay…" I said warily as I eyed the two of them suspiciously…

"I'll tell you later" Felix said, or well he didn't actually say it out loud… it was more like he told me with his… WAIT! Felix have powers too!? I'm not the only one… damn…

"So… this means we probably should get to know most of each other's secrets… not the ones we just can't tell right now… but the ones we could use to cover up for the big ones…" I said… it makes sense right?

"Yeah… I think Miranda is going to use various games to make us spill our secrets…" Kathrin then said.

"Yeah that sounds like her alright…" Amelia said angrily… I've never seen any other feelings than happiness and shyness from her… well except in resent situations… it's weird how fast things like this accelerate… it's like you're getting deeper and deeper into their lives…

But you have to be careful who you chose… because when you get into their lives, it's hard to get out…

"Wait, what do you mean by that? It's not like it would matter more if we spill them here…" Felix asked…

"I think you've got the message wrong… I meant that we tell each other what we think we could cover up some of our more… personal secrets with…" I replied… that's a good plan right?

"I still don't quite get it…" Amelia said… really? I think that was pretty understandable…

"Since you suggested this, you'll start it right?" Kathrin asked me, and I could see her devilish smirk… damn she recovers fast…

"Fuck… okay… let's take… Felix and me… our relationship isn't out yet, so we could go slowly forward… like first tell them that we're gay or bisexual or whatever, and then the next time tell them that we're interested in someone… and if we still aren't left off the hook we'll tell them that we're currently dating someone… and that gives us a lot more resistance to actually telling them we're dating…" I said…

"Wow… that's actually pretty smart…" Kathrin said…

"Yeah…" Amelia said and Felix just kinda nodded in agreement… wow, thanks guys…

"Wait, what if it's a question game? Like someone else asks you a question and you have to answer?" Amelia then asked…

"Then we'll 'play against each other', we'll ask the first questions to each other so that we'll be the ones to set the start… that way we avoid starting at for example the question 'are you currently dating someone?' and make it start at 'are you interested in someone?' because then it would take longer for them to ask us if we're dating someone… because people don't often connect those…" I replied… I'm so smart… I haven't had too much time to think this through, and I already came up with such a smart plan…

"Wow… when the fuck did you get the time to think this through?" Kathrin asked… heh…

"I didn't… I'm just a natural genius!" I replied, and I could see Kathrin's expression of admiration turn into an expression that literally said "are you fucking kidding me?" and I just couldn't help laughing…

"But this plan of yours can't really be carried out unless we know each other's secrets…" Felix said…

"Yeah… I know… we still have to tell each other our secrets… I told you that at the start… we don't need to tell the most personal secrets… but we have to give each other something to work with…" I said…

The room got quiet and Frank paid us a visit… haven't heard from him in a while…

But I've got the feeling that he's going to hang around us a lot from now to the party was over…

"Damn it people… why are you so afraid of telling some of your smaller secrets?" I asked even though I knew that it wasn't that easy…

"Well if you think it's so damn easy then you might just as well start it!" Kathrin replied… she's so hot headed… but I guess I am too because I immediately said "Fine!"… that's probably a bad idea… I mean I have one of the biggest secrets here… well at least I think I do…

"Hmm… so how do we actually do this? I mean it's… just…" Amelia started when I didn't say anything for a while… hey don't judge me… I mean I have no idea how to start this…

"I… I have no clue…" I replied honestly…

"We could just tell a lot of things about ourselves?" Felix then suggested… yeah that could work…

"Yeah… okay let's go with that…" I replied… I was silent for a while as I tried figuring out what to say…

"Umm… I guess… there's really not too many secrets to tell you… I think the whole dating Felix is kinda it…" I replied, and I could see Kathrin looking with me with a raised eyebrow… "Oh fuck you… not like I can tell that one…" I tried telling her with my powers… and seeing as she just rolled her eyes, it worked… I must say, having these powers is awesome…

"Then how about the whole shutting people out of your life at some point thing?" Amelia asked… well fuck…

"That's… kinda… hey guys this isn't going to work… let's just do it another way… we can't just sit here like this… that's just way to awkward… and no-one will feel too well with this…" I said…

"Okay, but how should we do this then Mr. Natural talent?" Kathrin asked… sometimes she just pisses me off…

"Well we have to make it into a game or something… that'll make it feel more real too… like Miranda would make it…" I replied…

"Yeah that's a good solution, but how do we do that? Why did Miranda have to do this!? Fuck… what do we do about this!? Why do we have to tell these secrets anyway?" Kathrin asked, and I couldn't help but agree to that… but there was one thing about it…

"Hey, telling each other some of our secrets will only put us closer… but then again this is kinda forced… that's why we need to play some sort of game… that way we could just relax and take everything nice and slow…" I replied… and the whole room got quiet again…

"So… truth or dare anyone?"  
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I wasn't too sure about this chapter... I mean all I've done in it was just... nothing...  
and that's kinda why I made the next one right away...


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19: truth or dare**

[Kathrin's pov]

"So… truth or dare anyone?" Felix asked…

"That's actually a really good idea… let's do that…" I replied… I've got a feeling Ryan's not going to be too pleased about this… but it is better than just telling each other… so he'll just have to deal with it!

"Yeah I guess…" Ryan replied… oh he's not too happy about this… of course he wouldn't be…

"Hey Ryan? could we sleep over today? I mean it'd be easier if we all could just play during the whole night, and we came just after school today so the both of us basically have what we need…" I asked… just after I had asked I realized that he probably didn't have any space for us though… and I was about to take my words back before he beat me to it…

"Umm… I guess… I don't really have too much space though… I guess one of you could sleep on the couch and the other on my spare matrass… I don't have a duvet for the both of you though… one of you will have to do with something else…" He replied…

"Well that's okay… so we'll get the living room I presume… while you and Felix get to share your bed?" I said, and damn right I gave him a teasing smirk! Haha, seeing him blush never cease to amuse me…

"Shut up…" Ryan replied… oh he's getting slightly angry at me again… well two can play that game! I was about to say something again, but I never got to do anything else than open my mouth…

"Truth or dare Kathrin?" Felix asked… what could he possibly want to do?

"I, umm… truth I guess? No wait! Let's do this the hardcore way! Dare!" I replied… his question had honestly caught me off-guard, and I saved it pretty nicely if I must say so myself!

"I dare you to… let's start this with something easy… give one person in this room a kiss on the cheek…" Felix said… wow really?

"You sure about that? I mean I could just steal a kiss from your boyfriend…" I replied, and I could feel another smirk lingering… Oh I love teasing people…

"We all have to have an open mind if we're going to do this… not like I would like it if you decided to do that… but I guess I just have to let it happen…" Felix said… wow, he's really good at this… it's kinda impossible to tease him properly like this… fuck… I guess I only have Ryan…

"Ryan? You okay with this? I might just steal him away from you!" I said in a joking matter, and sure enough, he reacted just the way I wanted…

"Fuck no! You wouldn't dare!" he replied.

"Oh yes I WOULD!" I said just before I got up and walked over to Pewds and kissed him on his right cheek… it of course meant nothing to me seeing as I'm not into boys, but Ryan still got angry… and hey, I'm not mean to him… I mean he already knows about my feelings towards Amelia!

"Oh no you didn't!" Ryan said…

Neither of us really mean any of the things we do or say when we get like this… I guess deep down we're trying to lighten the mood a bit… get this heavy atmosphere away… you know, replace it with some sort of "happy-happy, yay we're having so much fun!" Thing…

And as far as I know it's working… we're having fun…

I glanced over at Amelia to see that she was laughing at how we were acting… I love her laughs… why the fuck did I have to fall for a girl? No… more like why the fuck did I have to fall for my best friend?

Why do I have to be interested in girls? Couldn't I just like boys?

I bet that I would have been interested in Ryan if I were…

Woah, that's a scary way to go with your thoughts Kathrin… don't go there…

Thinking about stuff that could have been if you weren't that or this will help no-one…

"Kathrin? Hey it's your turn remember?" Felix said… I nearly spaced out for a while there…

"Oh yeah, I forgot… then… Ryan, ToD?" I asked… wait… what the fuck should I ask? Or make him do? Think Kathrin think! Oh shit…

"I'll go with truth…" Ryan said… I have no idea what to ask him… but wait… that could work!

"Coward" I replied, and it worked alright…

"I AM NO SUCH THING! Dare I say! Dare!" Ryan said, and I couldn't stop the laugh that erupted if I wanted to…

"Alright! You asked for it! I, Kathrin, herby dare you to…" everyone went silent to listen to the dare I was going to tell… of course they did… they were all expecting me to come up with something horrible… I wasn't though… I mean I had given the guy enough as it was… I need to be a lot more nice towards him…

"To sit in Felix's lap for the next ten rounds!" I said, and I felt like that was bad enough…

"HA! That's nothing!" Ryan said as he moved over to sit in between Pewdie's legs… and although he said that I could see that he was kinda troubled by it… he was blushing like mad and I just…

This is going to be fun!

"Ryan… it's your turn…" I said after waiting for quite some time… he was so enjoying this… the thought that he was indeed enjoying this made me smirk evilly… oh I'm so going to enjoy this…

"Huh? Oh yeah, that's right… ummm… Amelia… truth or dare?" Ryan finally asked…

"Truth" Amelia answered shortly, and I wish she'd talk more… that way I get to listen to her beautiful voice more often… oh well… I get to stare at her perfect body everyday… so I'm good…

"Okay… Amelia… do you have someone you like right now?" Ryan asked… wow… I'm not too sure I want to know… I mean what if she actually likes someone? What if she have fallen for some boy? What the fuck do I do then?

Dumb question… I'd support her…

Fuck…

"Y-yeah… I kinda do…" Amelia answered, and all the worry from my previous thoughts came back to me tenfold…

"So my turn right?" Amelia said after a while, letting her answer sink in… she's so thoughtful like that… I love that about her too…

Who am I kidding? I love everything about her…

"Felix, truth or dare?" Amelia asked…

"Dare!" Pewdie replied, and was it just me or was he GLOWING happiness?

"I dare you to touch Ryan inappropriately each time a dare have been carried out…" Amelia said and we all just stared at her in disbelief for the longest of time...

What, the, serious, fuck!?

"Amelia!? You okay?" I asked in utter shock… what just happened!? This isn't like her… I've got to admit that I kinda liked it though… but I still preferred the normal her…

"Yeah… but we kinda have to make this worse for ourselves… I mean we're doing this to prepare for when we go to Miranda's party… and you know how bad she can get…" Amelia answered…

I guess we all just kinda forgot about that… we were just having fun…

That's right… we have a reason for doing this out of the blue…

And the reason was Miranda and her stupid party…

"Yeah… you're right… but still, let the game progress like it should… it'll get worse after a while… trust me…" I replied… I said that in such a calm and motherly way that I kinda shocked myself…

What?

"O-okay…" Amelia replied, and when she blushes like this I just… I nearly lose my mind…

Fuck I love her so friggin much…

"Kathrin truth or dare?" Pewdie asked, and I just stared at him like an idiot for a while as I registered what he wanted from me…

"Right…" I said, and I was about to say truth, but then I remembered the dare Amelia just gave Felix… oh this was going to be SO much fun…

I looked into Ryan's eyes and smirked what I think was the most evil smirk I have ever produced before saying "Dare"

Oh this will be so much fun!

What I didn't think of was the consequences… I mean Pewds was bound to get revenge through this dare… I just made a really big mistake…

"I dare you to touch Amelia at her private parts at the end of each round for five rounds starting from the next round…" Felix said…

Fuck…  
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I'm not too sure if I'll be able to make the next chapter tomorrow... reason: my dad is being a jerk...  
so... yeah...

I hope you guys like this chapter though...


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20: intense**

[Cry's pov…]

Everyone got silent as we stared at Felix…

"What!?" Kathrin asked in pure disbelief… I don't blame her… she did ask for it though…

"You know what I said, and I said for five rounds… I was nice…" Felix said as he gave her a smirk…

That smirk was so sexy…

Since we're talking about sexy… I could feel Felix's every move when we were like this… when he talked, when he pointed at Kathrin… oh God… I'm not going to survive this…

"Fuck… do I really have to?" Kathrin asked… she's definitely nervous…

"Yupp…" Felix replied… damn… I really do feel everything though…

"That goes for you too Felix…" Amelia said… oh fuck I had forgotten all about that…

I'm so screwed…

Felix did as he was dared to do and put his hand in between my legs… I was blushing like mad and I could feel his breath on my neck… and his closeness and just… everything… and I tried my hardest to think of everything else but the feelings I got from all of this…

Shit, shit, shit… calm the fuck down Ryan… think of… I don't know math… or something else that's equally depressive…

"Truth or dare Ryan" Kathrin asked, and I could see the smirk on her face and the glint in her eyes… fuck, she was enjoying this to the fullest… I glared at her before choosing truth…

"Really Ryan? you going to be a coward?" Kathrin asked, but her words had no effects on me in my current situation…

"Yeah…" I replied…

Kathrin looked like she was having a hard time thinking of something to say… suits her right…

"Okay… I guess I'll just take this whole thing down a notch… Ryan, have you had sex with Felix yet?" Kathrin asked… that was actually really personal… how was that taking it down a notch!?

"No…" I replied truthfully… she looked at me disappointedly…

"So Amelia, truth or dare?" I asked, but before Amelia could answer Felix cut her off…

"Not yet… Kathrin have a dare she have to do first" and as soon as he had said that Kathrin looked over at Amelia and blushed… I guess she had forgotten about that…

"Fuck… I'm sorry Amelia…" Kathrin said before she got up and walked over to where Amelia was seated…

"Umm… so how much?" Kathrin asked… I didn't think someone could blush that much… she's blushing more than Amelia, and she's the one that'll get touched…

"You could just do it like I did with Ryan…" Felix replied…

"Does boobs count as a private part?" Kathrin asked…

"I guess… but only if it's underneath her top…" Felix answered… Felix sometimes you're really evil… and I kinda like it…

Payback Kathrin… and Amelia when I think about it…

"Shit… sorry…" Kathrin said just before her hands moved underneath Amelia's top and rested on her breast…

Kathrin quickly pulled her hands back once she thought that Felix would be satisfied with her actions…

"So… Amelia?" Felix asked… oh that's right… I asked her…

"Umm… I… truth…" Amelia said… she's kinda flustered too…

"Okay… are you into males or females?" I asked… and she looked at me wide eyed for a few seconds before she looked away and answered…

"Both… but mostly female…" Amelia answered… I knew it! I'm pretty sure she's interested in Kathrin…

"Kathrin, truth or dare?" Amelia asked… that's kinda surprising… I thought we had a thing going here… something like the boys versus the girls…

"Truth I guess…" Kathrin replied… I guess she's had enough of embarrassing dares now… I guess we all have…

"Wait… Kathrin… five rounds…" Felix said… good thing he keeps track…

"Fuck… you noticed?" Kathrin asked before making her way back to Amelia…

I noticed that Amelia acted a tad differently this time… she definitely wants this…

Kathrin did the same thing as she did the last time…

"Okay, next time it intensifies…" Felix said… wow…

"What!? What do you mean by that!?" Kathrin asked in shock… I feel bad for her now…

"I mean that you can't just keep doing the same thing… you have to either touch somewhere else that's private or underneath her bra…" Felix replied…

"Then the same thing counts for you" Amelia said… fuck…

"Fine… but she had two times, so the next one will be like the last one…" Felix said, and Amelia nodded in agreement…

Kathrin looked at me with a look that said "what about our opinion?" and I couldn't have agreed more…

"So truth was it?" Amelia asked Kathrin…

"Yeah…" Kathrin replied nervously…

"Kathrin, do you have someone you like?" Amelia asked, and I could nearly feel Kathrin's nervousness…

"Y-yeah… kinda…" Kathrin replied, and I couldn't help thinking about the conversation me and Kathrin had shared earlier today…

Kathrin then moved closer to Amelia and at first I wasn't sure what she was going to do, but then I remembered the dare…

Kathrin blushed like a mad again just before she touched in between Amelia's legs… wow she really did it… above Amelia's clothes of course…

"That's nearly cheating, but I'll accept it…" Felix said…

"Not really… you said this yourself…" Amelia replied…

It feels like they're having some sort of war… why?

"Kathrin?" Felix asked… they're really going to take this all the way aren't they? And Kathrin and me are just going to get dragged along…

Fuck…

We're screwed…

"Oh yeah… umm… Ryan" Kathrin said, not even bothering to ask…

"Truth…" I replied… and by the looks of it Kathrin wasn't going to try to make me turn it into a dare…

"Okay… then… hmm…" Kathrin started, but it looked like she had no idea what to ask…

"If you really can't find a question I could take dare…" I said before I really thought it through… fuck… what did I just do!?

Kathrin could see that I just realized what I had done and she smirked evilly…

"NO! I TAKE THAT BA-" I tried, but never got to finish…

"OH FUCK NO! dare huh? Okay, I dare you, Ryan, to make out with Felix in front of us!" Kathrin said…

I kinda just looked at Felix as I tried sending "I'm sorry…" with my powers…

"It's okay… and hey, don't you dare look at this as something negative!" Felix said…

And fuck our make-out session was so freaking hot…

I could see that even Amelia and Kathrin were affected by it… and I couldn't help but let out a small moan when Felix touched in-between my legs afterwards…

After a little while it dawned on me… fuck… I just… in front of… and I moaned!

Well fuck…

I could feel my cheeks getting warmer and warmer for each thought that passed through my mind…

Math and other depressive things Ryan… math and other depressive things…

Fuck… being this close to Felix, feeling him on my back, isn't helping!

"Ryan… it's kinda your turn…" Amelia said after a little while… I had been completely and utterly lost in my own thoughts hadn't I?

"Y-yeah… then… wait… Kathrin have to touch you…" I replied…

"Fuck…" Kathrin said before she once again touched Amelia in between her legs…

"Next time is the last one, so that have to be a really intense one…" Felix said… wow… he's going to take this even further?

"So like underneath my clothes, any place of choice?" Amelia asked, and I just can't understand how the two of them can be so calm! I mean Kathrin is freaking out and is currently blushing all over the place, and so am I!

"Yeah… same applies for me?" Felix replied…

This is nearly going too far…

"Yeah" Amelia answered…

"Ryan… who do you want to ask?" Felix asked…

"I… Kathrin" I said as I looked at her in somewhat desperation, only to see her return my look…

"Fucking dare…" Kathrin replied after a while…

Really? You just…

Fuck…

"I dare you to kiss Amelia… on the mouth, seriously" I said… that's right two can play this game!

"Damn you Ryan…" Kathrin said before moving over to Amelia again…

"Amelia I…" Kathrin started, but never finished… couldn't find the words to do so I guess…

"Don't worry about it…" Amelia said… and by the looks of it Amelia really wants Kathrin…

Kathrin leaned in and gave Amelia a kiss… they stayed like that for a while, moving only their lips a little before Kathrin's hands got up and touched Amelia's cheek…

Kathrin pulled back, and I'm sure she would have dived right back in if it weren't for Felix…

"Girls, we're playing a game…"  
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wow... and I told you shit was hitting the fan at the party...

and you guys... this is actually chapter 20... I think it's kinda promising for you guys that I've made a folder called "chapter 21-30"...  
we might just get this to 30 chapters... I am thinking of making it all go along a little more quickly... so what do you guys think?  
quick or slow?


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21: relationship change**

[Kathrin's pov…]

"Girls, we're playing a game…" Felix said… and that made me stop my actions completely…

Wow…

Wait we just… did she like it? By the looks of it she did… maybe she… no wait… this doesn't necessarily mean that she likes ME… she might just like IT…

Fuck…

"Kathrin~ you still have something else you have to do" Ryan said with a smirk on his face… oh you bastard…

"Fuck…" I said just before I put my hands under Amelia's shirt and bra… so soft…

I pulled my hands away quickly just after that though… wow… all the things we've done today… and something's telling me that it's only getting worse…

"Ryan, you're in the same boat as me you know… Felix…" I replied with a knowing smirk…

"I was hoping you had forgotten all about that…" Ryan said with a blush… no wonder… the guy have been sitting in-between his love's legs for quite the while now, and Felix have touched his private parts… and now that touch was going to get "more intense"…

Speaking of sitting in-between his legs… haven't ten rounds passed by now? Yes… yes it have been ten rounds…

I'll tell him that after the touching!

Felix leaned over Ryan's shoulder to see what he was going, and I could see that it was just making things worse for Ryan… I bet that if Ryan could he'd walk over to his bed and have hot sex with Felix right now…

Or maybe not… I mean he's probably worrying about that person of interest… but by the looks of him I'd say that's not what he's thinking about right now… it's probably holding himself back…

Felix's hands slowly traveled down to their destination… he's such a tease…

When his hands got to Ryan's pants he opened them slowly… wow… this is like awesome…

I'm actually quite the fan-girl when it comes to this… and this is just… imagine seeing a Pewdiecry fanfiction coming to life just before your very own eyes…

I'm so glad we decided to do this!

Felix's right hand then touched Ryan's private parts… but still above his boxers… damn…

"That's the same as you guys did… so deal with it…" Felix said just before he pulled his hands back, leaving a really flustered and embarrassed Ryan to zip up again… and if I wasn't too wrong… he's starting to really FEEL this… oh this is just the best…

"Ryan… you can sit for yourself now you know… it's been over ten rounds…" I said… he's had enough of all this now… poor guy… we're, in a way, torturing him here…

"Y-yeah…" Ryan said before he was about to get up, but then Felix hugged him…

"Aw… okay, but I'll miss this" Felix said… you have no idea how mean you are to him… or maybe he does know? That tease!

"Yeah…" Ryan said, but I knew he was going to sit down and think about everything else than what was going on for the moment…

"Who's turn was it again?" I asked… what? I've forgotten, okay?

"Yours…" Felix replied…

"Oh… well then… Felix, truth or dare?" I asked… I was too caught up in the game by now that I had completely set aside the whole touching and kissing Amelia part… that would probably dawn on me later, and I would think about it all for hours… hell even days…

"Truth" Felix replied… of course he did… I don't think anyone wants to go through any more of these dares we've been having… how DID we get to this point!?

"Okay… then…" I couldn't find anything to ask him, but then I realized something… in a way Felix haven't told Ryan that he have another person of interest… should I make him tell him now? No probably a bad idea… but didn't Felix have a girlfriend before this?

"What happened between you and your previous girlfriend?" I asked, and I regretted uttering those words upon seeing Felix's expression…

"I… it was my fault… I'm not particularly sad that it ended… it's just… the reason… it's kinda messing with my head… because I'm not too sure what to do…" Felix said turning his head downwards to look at the ground… wow… feel the serious mood…

"Hey… that's not really answering the question…" Amelia said carefully…

"Yeah… I know… I guess it was because I had feelings for someone else… the answer to that question is easy… but the thought that comes with it isn't…" Felix said… wow, you trying to be poet or something Pewds?

"So, who are you going to ask Felix?" I asked, pretending to be obvious to the serious air around us… I mean come on! We can't start going down this path… then we'll all be too serious to have fun…

"Oh yeah… Ryan" Felix said… still feels like he's halfway with us… not completely HERE yet…

"Truth…" Ryan replied, and I can't blame him for that… because seriously… he knows what comes with choosing dare…

"How much do you love me?" Felix asked… what? Really? I mean he have made it pretty clear by now… but then again there was something about the air he had around him that told us that Ryan had to answer seriously…

"How much can I love you?" Ryan asked in reply before he got up and walked over to Pewds and gave him a kiss on the lips… I'm sure that was one of the cutest moments in my entire life… if I was good at drawing I'd probably take a picture of this and draw it… and then I'd publish it on the internet… I'd become so famous…

"Kathrin" Ryan said… oh right, the game…

"Truth" I replied… I don't think anyone is going to choose dare in a while…

"Kathrin… before I ask my question… could I ask you to not get too mad at me?" Ryan asked… Ryan… what are you planning!?

"That seriously depends on what you're thinking of asking…" I replied kinda angrily…

"I already know the answer, but I seriously think it's time…" Ryan said… oh hell no! you're not thinking what I think you're thinking, are you!?

"You're not thinking of…" I started but couldn't finish my sentence… my nerves are just dying and I can feel my heart beating so Goddamn fast right now…

"Kathrin… who is the person you currently like? Or love…" Ryan asked…

"RYAN HOW COULD YOU!?" I asked angrily… damn it Ryan!

"Answer it… I'm sure it's not one-sided…" Ryan replied…

"How sure are you about this!?" I asked… because what kind of evidence does he have?

"I'm just sure, okay? Just… just answer the question Kathrin…" Ryan replied… why? Why me?

"Fuck… the person I like… no, love… is… you… Amelia…" I said as I looked up at Amelia…  
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sorry for such a short chapter... but it would be more dramatic this way...


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22: alcohol**

[Ryan's pov…]

Me and Felix were sitting in the couch alone… I'm really nervous right now… Amelia had just said that she didn't like this and told us that she wanted to talk to Kathrin alone… oh fuck… if shit hits the fan between them and it's my fault, I'll never forgive myself…

"You're really worried about this aren't you?" Felix asked… I looked up at him before answering.

"Of course I am… I might have ruined their friendship…" I said… Felix gave me a reassuring smile…

"You shouldn't worry… it's just that Amelia didn't like the fact that Kathrin was pressed to say it… she wants them to be alone and she wants Kathrin to tell her on her own…" Felix replied… what? How does he know?

"What do you know about that?" I replied.

"Well… when you and Kathrin were talking alone so was me and Amelia… and it turns out that Amelia have feelings for Kathrin too…" Felix said…

"And you didn't tell me?" I said…

"You didn't tell me about Kathrin…" Felix replied

"touché" I said… well then… now I know everything is going to be just fine… wow… this makes us four the only people at school that's gay… I guess gay people actually DOES attract other gay people… what do I know about other people in school being gay or not? Not like they know I am… wait… I'm not gay… just for Felix…

"So what do you think will happen when they get back?" I asked.

"Probably the annunciation of their relationship…" Felix replied… and I kinda think that too…

"So… do you think we'll continue the game?" I asked… I mean is there any particular reason for continuing our game?

"Yeah… in a way at least… but after all the things that have happened we won't be doing any dares…" Felix replied…

"Then just a question round then?" I asked… yeah… we could just do something like ask a question and then just go to the next person and stuff…

"I guess…" Felix replied shortly…

We sat there for a while, side by side until I got up and stood right in front of him…

He looked up at me questioningly, and I just smirked at him.

"I'm tired of waiting" I said before kissing him… we're alone okay? And fuck I've been teased enough today… I want some sort of… I don't even know… but something about the smirk he gave me after the kiss told me that he knew what I wanted…

"You know they could come in any time now…" Felix said just before he contradicted himself by pulling me onto his lap and started kissing me on my neck...

"Right now I couldn't care less…" I said as I put my arms on either side of his head and pulled him in for another kiss.

During the kiss I could feel Felix's hands travel across my body successfully making me moan… Felix then pushed me down on the couch… déjà vu much?

"You… how far are you thinking of taking this?" Felix asked… wow… right now I could just take it all the way…

"How far are YOU willing to take it?" I asked in return…

"Wow, you really want to do this right now, don't you?" Felix asked… no Felix, I NEED this right now…

"Fuck yeah" I replied, and as soon as I had said that I pulled Felix down for another kiss…

Felix's hands started traveling across my body again… I could feel them going from my chest to my hips, the outside of my legs down to my knees and upwards on the inside of my thighs… I let out a moan and his hands went under my shirt…

"Guys… we're back…" Amelia said… well fuck…

The both of us kinda just looked at them for a while…

"Oh yeah… how did it go?" I asked a little out of breath… I had just been making out, okay? And moaning and… they heard all that didn't they?

I could feel my cheeks burning… oh shit… well it was… I started this… shit…

"Fine… we decided to date…" Amelia answered, and I looked over at Kathrin… she was looking away with a blush… wow… not sure if it's because she's finally dating Amelia or because of what she just saw when she walked in on us… a combination maybe?

"That's good…" I said…

They kinda just stood there and looked at us for a while before we realized that, well… it might be a little awkward for them when we were practically all over each other…

"Why do we always get interrupted by something when we're about to do stuff like this?" I asked.

"Beats me…" Felix replied… I guess he's really getting impatient about this too…

"Well sorry, but you're doing 'stuff like this' on the couch, where I'm going to sleep tonight…" Kathrin said, still flustered…

"Sorry… what happened between you two anyway?" I asked.

"Umm… that's…" Kathrin started, trying to find the right words… what got her so flustered and nervous? What happened?

"Well… we kinda got close like you guys, so this'll make us even, right?" Amelia said… what?

"What do you mean by that?" I asked… close like us?

"Well we kinda made out and stuff on YOUR bed, although nothing really happened except making out… and since we both did something innocent like that, we'll call it even… and I just knew you guys would probably take the opportunity and start something here…" Amelia answered… that's not really fair…

"Hey… it's my house remember? But yeah… since it's just kissing and making out, I guess it's okay…" I replied…

"So… Game?" Amelia asked.

"Yeah, but we don't need the dare part anymore…" Felix replied

"So how do we do this?" Kathrin asked.

"Well! The genius, me, strikes again! We could just sit down and, let's say that I start, then I could ask whoever I want a question and when that person have answered it's the next persons turn…" I said, and luckily everyone understood what I had meant…

"Okay… who starts then?" Amelia asked as she sat down in "her" chair… that's kinda funny… those chairs have become "theirs"… it's like they already have their own place in my house…

Maybe even in my life?

"I'll start!" Kathrin said happily, and I didn't register it quickly enough to stop it… because who knows what Kathrin could come up with? What she could start all of this with? What she could ask us?

Let's just hope she's not mad about the whole "making her tell everyone her secret" thing….

"Ryan" she said… fuck…

"Yeah?" I asked cautiously… and her grin didn't exactly reassure me…

"Have you had any experience with alcohol, and if you have, what?" Kathrin asked… she really is so freaking unpredictable isn't she?

"Umm… yeah… but why is this relevant?" I answered… because really? Weren't secrets all we were supposed to figure out about each other?

"Yeah, we're talking about Miranda here… she'll go to using alcohol if she has to…" Kathrin replied… fuck…

"I really… I'm not too good with alcohol…" I replied… and it's true… I do stupid things when I have alcohol in my system…

"That could be a problem…" Kathrin said…

"How about you?" I asked in return.

"I'm… not too good with it… but I'll manage…" Kathrin answered.

"I don't usually drink… but I'll manage too…" Felix said.

"I umm… I don't know… I've never… I've never tried alcohol before…" Amelia then said…

"Really!? But you've been on all the parties I have… it's a freaking miracle you haven't gotten some alcohol in your system after all that!" Kathrin said incredulously…

"Yeah I always made sure not to drink anything I didn't bring myself… and anything I didn't have my eyes on during the whole time…" Amelia answered… wow… that's a lot of trouble to go through…

"Wow… but you know Miranda's probably going to make us drink or something right?" Kathrin said…

"That's going to be a problem for both of us… I don't know what I'll do or say when I… have alcohol in my system…" I replied…

"Well… we probably should have made you guys a little more resistant to alcohol then… but I don't think we'll make it in time anyways so… Ryan answer the question…" Kathrin said… glad we're not going to start drinking… that'd be bad…

"Wait, what was, oh right… well… I've gotten drunk only a few times I guess… we have that time on this party with the previous gang… and then that time I ended up recordin-... no let's not… talk about that time…" I said… wow… I nearly gave away… that was WAY too close… wait he still might figure it out…

"You ended up recording what?" Felix asked… damn…

"Oh that… right… umm… it's nothing Felix… don't even worry about it…" Kathrin said, ignoring Felix at first… I'm not too sure that was a good idea Kathrin…

"What!? Kathrin knows about it but I don't? Why do all of you keep so many secrets from me?" Felix asked… well… sorry Felix but you just can't know yet…

"Well not like Ryan really wanted to show us or anything… we kinda pressed him to do it… and you'll get to know eventually anyway… so just… to quote you 'calm yo tits!' okay?" Kathrin said, and we all kinda just started laughing…

"So you DO watch my videos! You're a bro Kathrin?" Felix asked, still laughing a little… Goddamn I love his laughter…

"Well yeah… kinda…" Kathrin said… she's blushing… I guess she's really embarrassed, huh? She doesn't like admitting that she likes something I guess…

"So Amelia's turn" I said… we still have to get all the secrets from each other… I guess…

"Yeah okay… I don't think we need to play this game for too long though… and besides it's getting late… and we have school… so Felix, are you going to do something with Ryan tonight?" Amelia asked… I never thought that the one that would be worst in these games would be her… she's really blunt and just… different than what I expected her to be…

It's funny how you always get to know new things about a person isn't it?

"I don't think we'll actually DO something… but I really want to…" Felix said before kissing my cheek…

"How about you?" Felix asked in return, and well it was fair considering it really was his turn to ask…

"Hmm… we'll see…" Amelia answered… I'm starting to think that Amelia's going to be on top in that relationship… and that's kinda weird because she seems so nice and innocent… well she DID seem like that… but recently…

"Go to sleep and continue this after school tomorrow?" Felix asked…

We all kinda just nodded in agreement… I don't know about the others, but I'm getting really tired…

I still want to do stuff with Felix though… but I guess it can wait… we still have a lot of days left anyway…

This was the fourteenth day of the twenty days until a possible breakup… 6 days left…  
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

I'm sorry for not making any chapters for a while... but on the bright side: you'll get another chapter today... you might get two even...  
and guys...  
this story is nearing it's end...  
there's going to be the party, then an event before the whole chat thing... and that's it...  
it might just barely reach 30 chapters...

and I feel like I'm trolling you guys a lot with the chapter names...


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23: teleporting naked guys**

[Ryan's pov…]

It's Friday today…

Tomorrow is Saturday… Miranda's party…

Damn…

Those were the thoughts I had as I ate my breakfast this morning…

It was kinda a different morning because Kathrin and Amelia were eating with me and Felix…

And what's up with that anyway!? Felix pretty much moved in with me… doesn't he have his own apartment or house or whatever? What does he do with that? And what about Kathrin and Amelia? I never saw them calling anyone, so does that mean that they live by themselves? Together?

I really don't know anything about these things do I?

"Guys… I forgot to ask, but how is everyone's living situation? I mean I've never seen you tell anyone so do you live by yourselves? And how about you Felix? I mean you're always here…" I asked just after finishing my breakfast…

"Well… me and Amelia live with two others from school…" Kathrin answered… wow… so that's why… I guess you don't need to tell anyone when it's like that…

"I live in an apartment close to school…" Felix said…

"Okay… now I know… I want to see your places too… I mean we always meet at my place… it's only fair that I get to see where you guys live too…" I replied.

"Yeah sure" Felix immediately replied

"It's kinda messy at our place though…" Kathrin said.

"That's okay… I don't mind messy places…" I replied.

"Guys… we have school you know…" Amelia said… oh yeah, that's right…

"Damn, we don't have too much time left either…" I replied after looking at my watch…

The four of us got ready for school and then we just kinda sat there for a while… I don't know what the others were thinking about, but it was probably something similar to me… I was thinking about the fact that we might not get to be in the same group at the party…

"Hey… lighten up people… we already asked her to be in the same group… if we don't end up in the same group, then we don't… and we kinda have to go to school now…" Felix said…

"Yeah… let's go… we need to see the groups we're in anyway…" I replied…

We talked like usual during the whole walk to school… it felt like nothing had happened… or maybe like what had happened made our bonds stronger…

When we got to school and walked into our classroom however we stopped talking for a while… Miranda had put a bag on top of all the student's desks… what could that possibly be?

When I walked over to my seat and looked at the bag the first thing that caught my eye was the huge writing at the front of it…

"Do not open?" Kathrin read out loud…

"Yes… no one's allowed to look inside their bags until I say so…" Miranda said, just behind our backs… when the FUCK did she get so close!? That was scary… and I've played a lot of horror games… I should know when something is scary or not… it was like she teleported…

Teleporting naked guys…

I couldn't help the laughter that erupted from those thoughts…

I'm in class… I really shouldn't do anything that could give me away…

"What could possibly be funny about that sentence?" Miranda asked… she's a little angry now… that's probably not too good for me…

"Nothing… just… how did you get behind us so fast?" I asked, my laughter dying down a little… I'm trying my hardest to hold it back…

"I didn't really… Why is that so funny anyways? I don't get it…" Miranda replied…

"It was like you teleported…" I said, still trying to hold back my laughter… but then I looked over at Kathrin and then Felix and back again, and then Kathrin understood what I had been laughing about... and when she started laughing I couldn't hold myself back any longer…

"What? I really don't understand what you're laughing about…" Miranda said… wow… she's starting to sound furious…

"T-the… teleporting naked guys!" Kathrin managed still in the process of laughing her ass off…

I guess the tension got to us, because everyone started laughing…

It was kinda nice to laugh instead of feel like every minute could be your last… it wasn't really like that… but you know, for a teenager your secrets can mean life or death to you…

"Are you trying to tell me that you're comparing me to a naked guy in some game!?" Miranda asked… oh she's pissed alright…

Everyone stopped laughing when they heard how pissed she was… she did indeed have the power to do whatever she wanted right now…

"No… we're just comparing your actions to a naked guy in some game" I said calmly, and everyone burst out laughing again… Ryan you're digging your own grave here… but it's so worth it…

"Ryan… I'm warning you…" Miranda said and that caused shivers to run down my spine… there was something with the way she said it… it was kinda scary…

"Well that's nice, the teleporting naked guys never warn you" Amelia said… of all the people present, I never thought Amelia would say something like that…

Miranda just looked at her with pure anger and Amelia returned her look with one of her own…

Did something happen between them? What am I missing out on here?

"You're all morons" Miranda said before walking back to her seat…

"Thanks Amelia…" I said when I was sure Miranda couldn't hear me…

"It was nothing…" Amelia replied.

During the first period the teacher looked baffled by all the bags on our tables, but when Miranda told him to not worry about it he continued the class without commenting on it…

When school was over Miranda's private little squad stood in front of the door to our classroom…

They only let out our teacher… damn…

"You are now allowed to open the bags in front of you, and you will find the list containing the names of the people in your group. You will also find clothes in your own size, this will be your attire for the party… you will also find an instruction for how to put the clothes on, in case some of you don't know how to, and lastly, you will also find the schedule for the day in the bag… that is all I have to say. I'll be expecting your presence at the party tomorrow." Miranda said… oh fuck… what kind of clothes did she give us!? Schedule!?

After Miranda finished giving her speech most of the people in class checked their bags, but Kathrin, Amelia, Felix and me just kinda stood there for a while…

"Let's open them when we get to my place?" I suggested…

"Good plan…" Felix said before we all kinda just hurriedly went outside…

The walk back to my place was silent, and we didn't start talking before we had been sitting in my living room for a while…

"So… who wants to open theirs first?" Kathrin asked… she's kinda scared of the content of the bag isn't she? Well I don't blame her… I'm kinda scared of what might be inside too…

"I… I guess I'll go check…" I said before I got up and started walking towards my room.

"Go check? What do you mean by that? Can't you check here?" Kathrin asked.

"No, I mean I'll change into the outfit… we have to be sure they fit us, don't we?" I answered before continuing on my way to my room…

"I guess you're right…" Kathrin said.

When I got up to my room however I sat down on my bed and kinda just looked at the bag in my lap for a while… what could possibly be in there?

I sat there for a while before thinking "fuck it" and opened the bag.

The first thing I noticed was the laminated paper that laid on top of everything… okay…

I took out the note and read it… this feels like amnesia… I nearly expected the first words to be "dear peter" or something like that…

The fact that the first words were "Dear Ryan" wasn't exactly comforting…

"The following people are in your group" was the next words I read… oh fuck… what if I'm alone? What if neither Felix, Kathrin nor Amelia's names are on this list?

What the fuck do I do then?

I could feel myself getting more and more nervous as my eyes carefully read every name on the list…

I had read four names before I found Felix's, and I don't think I've felt so relieved ever in my entire life…

But wait… he doesn't know my secret… he can't use our plan to help me… fuck… oh well, at least I'm not alone…

I dared check the rest of the list and we were all in the same group… but so was all the people named Ryan… and Miranda was in our group… she put all the people named Ryan in our entire school into one group… what does she… how does she…

I don't even know anymore…

Let's just check this "attire" of hers…  
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

I'm sorry... I just couldn't help calling this chapter that...

and hurr durr... what have I planned for them to wear indeed?


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24: the bag**

[Ryan's pov…]

I stood there in front of the mirror, completely baffled by the fact that the clothes fit me perfectly…

Wow… how did she know… no I'm not even going to think about it…

But… cat ears? Really? And a tail?

The cat ears and tail even matched my hair color… and they were of REALLY good quality… well she IS rich… It looked like the cat ears really belonged to me… like they always were there…

I would never have believed Miranda of all people to choose something like this… she have always been more or less into the classy and cute styles… well the cat ears and the tail is considered cute I guess… but the rest isn't…

And considering that she had to put a manual in it, I thought it would be something weird… but these clothes…

These clothes were just so fucking amazing and they were comfortable as hell… well I liked everything except the cat ears and tail… I mean that's just not like me…

I got these black glows which covered everything except my fingers… they nearly went up to my elbow… they were actually kinda cool… the glows fit so perfectly and they were exactly the way I would want them to be…

And then I got this black t-shirt with slightly longer sleeves than usual t-shirts which hugged my body perfectly… and above it I was supposed to wear this dark blue hooded jacket with no arms… the instructions said to leave it open…

And then I got these blue jeans that also fit me perfectly… the jeans were darker than the jacket…

The clothes were just my size in every possible way…

This is fucking creepy…

No wait this is fucking horrifying…

How the fuck does she know so much about my body!?

Since WHEN did she know so much about my body!? About everyones bodies!?

Damn… I wonder what the others got… I can't wait to tell them that we're in the same group!

I took the bag with me down to the living room, and I could see them all waiting in silence…

They hadn't even started talking together? Oh wait… of course they didn't… I mean I probably wouldn't either… I mean I had some crazy images in my head about these clothes…

"Guys stop being so tense… these clothes are fucking awesome!" I said as I entered the center of the room…

"And guess what! We're in the same group, all of us! We're the 'blue cat' group" I said cheerfully.

At first they didn't seem to register what had happened… well I did give them a lot of information on a short period of time…

"Wow… that's great!" Kathrin replied eventually.

"Yeah… but there's something really creepy about this… and that is that these clothes fit perfectly on every inch of my body…" I said, and as soon as I had said it I felt a shiver run down my spine… wow… saying things out loud makes it scarier than just thinking it…

"Wow… you think it'll be the same for us?" Kathrin asked.

"Yeah… I mean do you really think she could guess her way to knowing exactly how my body is like? But the fact that she knows what I like when it comes to clothing is also kinda creepy… it feels like we've all been watched… like we can't have any secrets before her… like she's a God…" I said… wow, where did all that come from?

It was true, but still…

"Don't say scary things like that…" Kathrin said…

"Sorry… but really… you'll be amazed… or maybe well, creped out by how perfectly these clothes fit… and they're so comfortable…" I replied… I don't actually know why I'm so freaking happy…

"Well we all have to change into our clothes to check if they're alright… so I'll just borrow Ryan's room, Kathrin you could take the bathroom, and Amelia… you'll just have to wait unless you want to change together with Kathrin or down in the basement or something…" Felix said just before he started walking towards my bedroom…

"To the bathroom!" Amelia said as she pulled a quite confused Kathrin with her to my bathroom…

So… I'm all alone in the living room now… oh well…

Wait…

We're the blue cat group…

Felix… how will his clothes look like!? His clothes will be blue… He'll look like a cat too…

Imagination can be a dangerous thing at times…

That reminds me that I haven't checked up on the whole "who's on top" thing… I have to do that sometime… but when will I get enough alone time to do that? I mean Felix is always around, and Amelia and Kathrin… they…

I'll never know, will I?

Oh well… it's alright… I actually don't care too much anymore… either way is fine…

I wonder if we'll even get to go that far…

No depressive thoughts right now Ryan… think about happy things… like cats… and puppies…

Our group is called blue cat…

I'm starting to like these clothes though… I hope we get to keep them… well I don't care much about the ears and tail, but the rest is pretty awesome…

"You were right about the clothes, Ryan… they fit perfectly in every way possible…" Felix said, successfully snapping me out of my thoughts…

"Wow… you look good in them…" I said… and he did… no, correction, he looks fucking awesome…

"I know right, I look fabulous!" Felix replied, doing that pose with his arm above his head.

"What!? You're not gay anymore!?" I asked jokingly, pretending to be shocked.

"Haha, don't worry about it Ryan, I am" Felix replied, and we both started laughing… this reminds me of all the times me and Felix made videos together…

Wow… I hadn't thought about that…

How will the whole confession thing with Felix go? Could it do something about that too?

I mean if we break up then… I'm not too sure if I can pretend like nothing happened… we might just have to stop recording videos together…

I don't want that…

What the fuck do I do!?

Where is Kathrin!? I need to talk to her…

"I thought you were joking about the whole 'the clothes fit in all places possible' part, but damn… they really do…" Kathrin said… my powers strike again…

"Kathrin, I have something I want to talk to you about later…" I said.

"Okay… let's wait for Amelia to finish first then…" Kathrin replied.

"Wait… you guys changed in the bathroom together right? So why isn't she done?" Felix replied… good point…

"Well… we kinda ended up not doing that… we-" Kathrin started but was interrupted by Amelia as she hurriedly walked in and hugged Kathrin from behind.

"We ended up making out a little and stuff… but it wasn't in your bed this time so you should be pleased enough… and I started changing a little later than Kathrin… that's why I was delayed…" Amelia said… well their relationship is going along smoothly… maybe I shouldn't bother them with my problems…

"Yeah… the bathroom's fine…" I replied.

"So let's go talk!" Kathrin said as she started walking towards my room…

"No… I… it's alright I guess…" I said… I don't want to bother her with my problems now that she's finally starting to get her happy days with Amelia…

"Bullshit! You're coming with me, and you're going to talk!" Kathrin said before grabbing me by my arm and started dragging me towards my bedroom…

"But really it was… nothing special… I just…" I tried, but I couldn't even bring myself to finish saying it…

"Ryan… tell me what's wrong…" Kathrin said when we had gotten to my bedroom…

"I… it's just that… how will the whole conversation with Felix go? If we really break up… what will happen with…" I started, but I just couldn't find the right words to finish my sentence…

"What will happen to Pewdiecry?" Kathrin said with a small laugh…

"Not the words I was looking for, but yeah…" I replied.

"Well… I don't know what to say to that… I mean you just kinda have to follow your heart… but I guess you guys won't record any videos together for a while if you really do break up…" Kathrin said.

"Yeah…" I replied… I did not intend to sound so sad… but I guess I am kinda sad… thinking about it makes me sad…

"But hey… you have him all to yourself for the time being, and you don't know if he'll really break it off with you or not yet… so don't be so depressive! And you still kinda have the party to worry about…" Kathrin said… she's right… shit! The party… he might find out about the whole "I'm cry" thing there… damn… what do I do then?

"Fuck… you're right…" I replied…

"Haha, some help I am, now you're depressed about the conversation with Pewds AND worried about the party! Let's just make the most of it, right?" Kathrin said.

"No, I'm glad you made me talk to you about it… just talking about something helps too… and yeah… let's make the most of it…" I replied.

"Make the most of what?"  
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

okay so I was totally trolling you with the whole "what am I going to make them wear indeed?" comment...  
but! who is the person that asked the last question!? find out in the next episode... nope...

so anyway... I might just write the next chapter today too...

(because I feel like I have let you guys down... I haven't posted as many chapters as I should have... I'm sorry... I've tried, really I have... but I just... I just couldn't do it... not to long ago I sat and stared at the screen for about an hour... I wasn't able to write anything... but then someone gave me comments and I just... I HAD to write more... but now it's kinda over... so now I'm starting to get back to the way I was before that...)


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25: emotional**

[Ryan's pov…]

"Make the most of what? The party?" Felix asked…

"Oh shit! Felix how long have you been there!?" I asked… oh shit oh shit oh shit…

"from 'just talking about it helps'…" Felix replied… THANK GOD!

"Okay… yeah… the party… I mean they're probably going to figure out about us and stuff… I'm not sure I'm ready for that…" I replied…

"Wait, if it was just that then why did you talk about it in private?" Felix asked… brain don't fail me now! Please help me come up with a good excuse!

"Well I did tell her that it wasn't of importance, but she dragged me here anyway…" I replied… that's good enough I guess…

"Fine… if you don't want to tell me it's okay… as long as I get to know one day it's alright…" Felix said… HOW DOES HE KNOW!?

"Wha-" I started, but Felix interrupted me by kissing me… damn I love kissing him…

"I just know, okay? And you look good with cat ears…" Felix said with a smirk… damn… I changed my mind… I do SO want to do "stuff" with him… it does matter… and I want it soon, now if possible…

"Well let's return to my dear Amelia then!" Kathrin said as she nearly bounced down the stairs… wow, someone is happy… or rather, someone really wants to see her girlfriend…

"Yeah…" I said… damn… can't Felix and me just… just do "stuff" without any interruption? Is that really too much to ask for!? Damn it…

And those were my last thoughts before going downstairs…

When we all had taken "our" seats nobody spoke for a while… kinda just stared at each other… these clothes look absolutely awesome… all of the clothes were like the ones I got, but they were a little different for each one of us… it's like they were designed to look like a mix of what we wanted and what would suit us best… it's really quite impressive… and when I looked a little closer, to examine the clothes further of course… Felix's black t-shirt had a brofist on it…

Okay so who am I kidding? I wasn't looking at the clothes…

"So… the whole secret thing isn't really such a big deal anymore right? I mean we kinda know most of the things we need to… so how about we just ask questions if we have any at all?" Kathrin asked…

"Sure… anyone want to start?" I said.

"Yeah actually… Ryan, what is the deal about the whole 'previous gang' thing?" Amelia asked… wow… what do I reply to that? No scratch that, HOW do I reply to that?

"Umm… well… we were a bunch of people who were friends and kinda just… were here at my place I guess… like how it's with you guys now… oh and we used to go to the restaurant… but wait, those guys pretty much used to live here… they never used to go to any other places… we kinda shared this house… my room was still my room though… no one else were allowed to go there… it was kinda fun… we used to end up playing games all night long… but I guess they all just… went their own ways in life… because some of them moved and others just… drifted off to God knows where… and…" I said… the first of it was kinda messy because I wasn't sure how to put it, but the thought of it all had made me remember the "good old days"… but at the end I… the thought of what had happened made me unable to continue my sentence…

"And what?" Amelia asked…

"I can't, I… just… can't…" I said… those thoughts were just too sad… I don't want to remember those things right now… I want to be happy and have fun while discovering new sides to the people I now currently have close to my heart…

"Ryan… talking about it will help… and you know it…" Amelia replied… I know… but I just…

"I… can't, I…" I tried but just couldn't… I don't want to remember it! Remember how little my words meant, but at the same how much they meant… and how I couldn't do anything to stop it…

"Ryan, I know it's hard to tell people about stuff that's hurtful and sad, but you really have to tell someone… and you know we'll always be there for you!" Kathrin said… how did you get to know me so much over such a short amount of time Kathrin? Do you always know what to say to me?

"Fuck… okay… so there was this one guy in our gang that liked gaming a lot… and he… he made a youtube channel… and made a lot of let's plays… and he was happy with doing that… he… as every youtuber who have a channel, got a lot of hate… but that didn't bother him much… he said the reason it didn't bother him much because he had us… and… that he didn't even worry about it at all… and as I said… the gang kinda fell apart… people drifted away and others moved… and in the end it was me and that guy left… we played a lot of games and had a lot of fun… but I guess all the hate he got broke him… and… seeing as our friends weren't with us anymore… one day… Kathrin?" I said… I just…

"Yeah?" Kathrin replied… the tension is just…

"Do you remember that incident with that guy from our school that committed suicide?" I asked…

"No way… are you telling me that… he… he was all over the news…" Kathrin said in disbelief…

"Yeah… I was there… on the rooftop… I tried all I could, but…" I started, and I could feel the tears run down my cheeks…

"Ryan…" Kathrin said, her voice thick with sadness…

"He was… my best friend…" I managed to say in between the small sobs that I couldn't hold back… fuck… I didn't want to remember that… I want to be happy… because I might not be able to be this happy when those twenty days have passed…

I had been so caught up in my own thoughts that I hadn't noticed that Kathrin had gotten close to me, well that was before she jumped on top of me, hugging me in the process…

Soon after Amelia also came over…

And wow… I hadn't even noticed that Felix was the first person to hug me… I guess I'm used to his hugs now… I still love them though…

They cried… damn I have some really good friends…

"YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SUFFER YOU IDIOT!" Kathrin said rather loudly into my ear…

"I-if you guys continue this I'm… I'm going to get deaf and-and suffocated… but I don't… I don't even care right now…" I said… wow my voice is so thick and just… I'm crying… I never knew I wanted this so much…

I put my arms up to try to at least hug something back… and just… all the emotions I held back all this time… it all kinda just came out of me at once… everything from that time I witnessed my best friend commit suicide to the most recent worries and all of the stress from the other "person of interest"… it all just… came to me at once… all the emotions I had ever suppressed inside my heart…

It hurt so much, but at the same time felt so good…

I really needed this so much…

Wow… I've kinda been crying a lot lately haven't I? I've been so emotionally unstable… it's like I've been on a fucking rollercoaster… I guess it's because I'm starting to let other people into my life again…

I don't think I could ever live without them anymore…

To fuck with all my secrets… as long as I have Felix, Amelia and Kathrin I don't care about anything else…

I've gotten too deeply attached to them to let them go now…

Fuck…

Felix don't you dare hurt me…

Please don't hurt me…

I don't think I can take it…

"Guys… it's… it's okay now… I… it's okay…" I said, successfully breaking the hug… I'm kinda conflicted about that… I like hugs… who doesn't?

"You sure? Because I'd give you a thousand hugs if it would cheer you up…" Kathrin said…

"haha… then I want another one… I'm not at my happiest yet!" I said, mostly as a joke, but Kathrin gave me another hug anyway…

"I was joking you know…" I said

"Shut up, you know you like it… and besides… I want a hug too…" Kathrin replied…

"Yeah…" I said silently… I'm not crying anymore… I think I've cried more this month than I have ever done in my entire life put together…

Cry…

When I think about it… I guess that friend of mine was my entire reason for starting my own channel…

Without him I would never have met Felix… would never have become friends with Kathrin and Amelia…

I have a lot to thank him for actually…

Too bad I can't…

I never cried after that incident… I guess that's when I shut everything out… I have cried on my channel of course, but there's a lot of different types of crying… and that was all because of the games I was playing…

I'm glad I got to let out all my emotions… it feels like all the weights that were holding me down in life lifted a little…

I'm still sad about all the things, but… I guess I'm moving on in a way… like I'm letting it all go to make room for all the new emotions from the moments of right now…

"Thanks…" I said, and I think that's the purest smile I have produced in the longest of times…

"That's what friends are for, right?" Kathrin said, returning my smile… I could still see the tears on her cheeks… I'm so glad I got her as a friend…

"Yeah" I replied…  
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

guys guys...

my dad will probably take away the wifi today... so no internet for me in about 2-3 weeks...

that's why I'll post the next chapter now even though I was planning on posting it together with the next one...

sorry... I might just not be able to post any new chapters for a while...


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26: Hearts**

[Kathrin's pov…]

"So… anyone else got a question?" Ryan asked, and I'm pretty sure no-one would have spoken for a while if he hadn't…

Those things he shared with us… it made me happy that he's willing to open up to us to such a degree… I actually cried with him… real tears, and real emotions… I'm not usually the type to do that…

If the both of us weren't gay, we'd probably get together wouldn't we?

Kathrin! You promised not to go there!

I know, but it was just too tempting!

Pfft, I'm talking to myself now? I'm going crazy…

"You have to admit we all look fabulous in these clothes!" Felix said… and we all kinda started laughing, all these serious conversations and all this crying just… even though it wasn't really too funny we laughed for quite the while…

"Yeah, I don't like it, but we have to hand it to Miranda for giving us such awesome clothes… maybe we've been a little hard on her… but she DID throw an obligatory party… and she IS kinda keeping us in leashes right now… and that's kinda bad…" I said… and Amelia kinda just looked like she was so angry…

Why's that?

"Amelia, what happened between you and Miranda?" Ryan asked… so he noticed too…

"I… well we used to be friends…" Amelia replied.

"What!? When did that? Why wasn't I?" I asked in disbelief…

"Well… it's complicated… so just…" Amelia started but then she looked at Ryan… I think she was about to say "leave it" but changed her mind…

"Okay… well… Miranda knows how I feel about Kathrin…" Amelia said… WHAT!?

"Really? Did you just tell her one day?" Ryan asked… she? What?

"No… I… she found out… and… no, forget it…" Amelia replied…

"Amelia…" Ryan said… and that seemed to get to her… she's probably feeling guilty for not telling us when Ryan just told us…

"Fine… Miranda had a crush on Kathrin… and we kinda ended up being friends and… we had a fight…" Amelia said… what? Are you kidding me? I… don't even…

"I… I don't… I…" I tried saying, but I just couldn't find the right words to reply with…

"It was during that year when I didn't hang around you as much as I used to…" Amelia said…

"I remember that… I was so confused… and a little hurt… I thought I had done something wrong…" I replied… so THAT'S what was wrong… I had a lot of trouble during that year…

"I'm sorry…" Amelia said…

"It's okay, we're together now, and that's all that matters to me…" I replied as I walked over and took her hands in mine and kissed her on her right cheek.

"Kathrin…" Amelia said before she took her hands out of mine… damn… already missing that…

But then she put her hands on my head and pulled me down for another kiss, but this one wasn't on the cheek…

"You still haven't told us what you guys fought about though…" Felix said… true…

"Umm… it was… well we ended up fighting about… over Kathrin…" Amelia said, her cheeks beet red… she's just too cute…

"Wait… so that's why these clothes have a lot of hearts on them…" I said…

"What? I don't see any hearts…" Ryan said… obviously…

"Well they're not really visible on the outside… for example under this jacket on the t-shirt…" I said as I opened the jacket revealing the huge heart underneath…

"Wow…" Ryan said…

"Yeah that was my reaction too…" I replied…

"That goddamn… Miranda…" Amelia said… she sounds quite pissed…

"That's why I decided to go against the instructions and close the jacket…" I said…

"Oh, I'll tell her alright! I'll tell her that Kathrin is mine!" Amelia said… wow… she just… wow…

"Haha, that's right! They're ours!" Felix said…

"YEAH!" Amelia replied…

Ryan gave me a look that said "what just happened?" and I just returned his look…. but there was a little amusement in our looks too…

But then Felix and Amelia looked at each other for a while, and it looked like they were talking to each other… what? How do they do that? WAIT! Isn't that something old couples are able to do? NO, Felix, you're not allowed to take Amelia away from me!

I was so caught up in those thoughts that I didn't notice that they had stopped "talking"… but of course I noticed that when Amelia was right beside me…

"Come with me Kathrin!" Amelia said as she started dragging me towards Ryan's bedroom… why?

I looked at Ryan for some sort of explanation as I got pulled towards wherever Amelia wanted me… but he gave me a confused look in return… so he doesn't know either… it's Amelia and Felix's idea then… when? How?

I lost those thoughts as I had to try my best not to fall…

And finally we had reached the destination she had wished for… Ryan's bedroom… wait… why?

"Amelia? What-" I started but didn't get to finish…

"Don't worry about that… I'm not too sure Ryan will be too pleased with this though… I kinda rushed a little… we should have been the other way around… maybe we should go down? Yeah… we probably should…" Amelia said… okay… what? Why? Damn it what's happening here!?

"I… okay…" I just replied… I don't even know… I'll just go along with it…

We went down again and we found Felix and Ryan kissing… well of course they would start kissing… they're just so… okay so they're WAY to cute… I think every Pewdiecry fan-girl would want to be in my position right now…

"Switch…" Amelia said, and that was all it took for Felix and Ryan to pull apart… damn…

"Yeah… I wondered why you went up…" Felix said…

And there they go… Ryan looked like he was in some sort of daze… wow… he really wants to do stuff with Felix doesn't he?

Wait… was that what we were…

"Kathrin… get over here…" Amelia said, a little amusement evident in her voice…

"Okay…" I replied as I made my way over to her… she's sitting on the couch… when did she get there?

When I had sat down, Amelia got up and sat on top of me, facing me, with one knee on each side of me…

This is going to get so hot, isn't it?

"Okay so me and Felix decided we wanted some touchy feely time with the new outfits and stuff… so…" Amelia said, and at the end of her sentence she put both her hands on my face and leaned down to kiss me…

The kiss got more heated as it turned into us making out, and I let my hands wander around on her body… mostly letting them drift up and down her sides and her ass just… wow… this is so freaking hot…

We pulled apart, and my hands rested on her hips… heavy breathing and flushed cheeks… just… wow…

"Touchy feely times is okay with me…" I said just before I kissed her again.  
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

wifi! you came back to me!

no okay, but seriously... my dad realized that I wouldn't be any more social or nice if he took away my internet... (and he realized that you can find useful information on it... and that if I don't have it, then he can't check his mails...)

that idiot...

oh well...

thank you guys so much for... just... everything! QUQ

and I know this chapter is... well the shortest ever... but I'll try to finish the next one as fast as possible!

and again just... thanks! QUQ


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27: still boundaries?**

[Ryan's pov…]

Kathrin gave me a confused look, which I returned, as she got dragged towards my bedroom… what's happening?

I looked over at Felix when I couldn't see Kathrin and Amelia anymore, and I didn't get too much out of his look…

"So… what's up?" I asked…

"Nothing…" Felix replied suspisuosly… okay…

Felix then started walking over to me and when he was close enough to reach out and touch me, he did… he put his hands on my shoulders…

"Don't even try… I know something's up and I want to know what…" I said… he just looked at me for a while and laughed a little… why?

"Nothing's up, but something will be soon!" Felix said before he kissed me… pfft, something will be up…

"Switch…" Amelia said and the kiss broke… damn… it was starting to get really…

"Yeah I wondered why you went up…" Felix said, successfully snapping me out of my thoughts, as I looked at him… I like what I see…

He gave me a small push signalizing that he wanted me to follow him… and I did… and just… right now everything about him just makes me want to… do stuff…

As we walked up towards my bedroom I couldn't help watching his tail as it swung back and forth when he walked…

"So let's continue where we left off?" Felix asked when we had gotten to my bedroom…

"Fuck yeah" I replied before walking over to him and placed my hands on his head to pull him in for another kiss…

His hands rested on my hips, pulling me closer to him… heavy panting as our lips parted and just… hot damn…

"So… does the whole testing your boundaries still count?" Felix asked… hadn't really thought about that…

"I… I guess… I'm still not too sure how far I want to take this…" I answered… what am I even saying? Is that really how I… am I really sure? Is there any doubt in my mind? I guess thinking like this makes that a yes… most likely because of that goddamn person of interest… damn it Felix! Why did you have to have another person!? Fuck…

"Well then… tell me to stop when we've gone far enough…" Felix said… naaaw, he thinks about me… he's so cute… I'm really starting to sound like a girl aren't I? Damn it Ryan! You're a manly man aren't you!?

"I will…" I replied, and both of us kinda just stood there and looked into each other's eyes for a while…

"Well I'm a manly man so I'll make the first move!" were my last thoughts before Felix made the first move… damn it Felix… and in case you were wondering, he kissed me… that was his move…

"Damn it Felix I was going to make the first move!" I said after the kiss ended…

"Sorry, but you were too slow…" Felix replied…

"I'll show you too slow!" I said, and I was about to pull him in for another kiss, but he was faster… he kissed my neck, and damn do you even know how good that feels? Nibbling and just… wow… that made me forget the whole "manly men makes the first move" thing…

"Still too slow" Felix then whispered into my neck… fuck, that's hot…

"Doesn't matter just… damn…" I said… feeling quite needy at the moment…

Felix just chuckled a bit into my neck and damn it he should stop doing that because I can't even… fuck this!

Counter attack time!

I let my hands travel across his back as I nibbled on his earlobe, and I chuckled slightly in triumph at the groan I got out of him as my hands got a hold of his hips and pulled him close enough for our hips to touch.

Yeah, that's right! Two can play that game Felix!

"Ryan…" damn… hearing him say my name like that… wow… and all the kisses being placed on my neck and just… fuck…

I have a feeling that I'll have to decide on how far I'm willing to take this right now, or else there won't be any boundaries…

His hands got more daring as they started exploring underneath my clothes… this is going way too fast for me to be able to figure out my boundaries…

But damn… I know one thing for sure… I REALLY want this…

"Felix… I guess… I guess anything except going all the way would… I…" I started, but the rest of the sentence was lost when I looked into his lust filled eyes…

"So… only touching?" Felix asked… yeah that's pretty much it… I need to figure out stuff like this as fast as possible… I'm probably just thinking too much about the whole person of interest and how does he really feel about me stuff… but will I be able to go further even though I know all of that?

I guess I need to just sit down and get to know myself better sometime…

"I… guess…" I said…

Felix stared into my eyes for a while… looking for something I guess? That's the feeling I got at least… what could he possibly look for?

I gave him a questioning look in return…

"What?" I asked, not too sure what he was looking for… by the looks of it he wanted the answer to something… but what?

"Nothing…" he replied before he gave me a hug… hugs are nice too…

"If you say so…" I said, returning the hug…

It's weird how much I've changed… I used to care about so many things… well… I still do care about all those things… but… but now… as long as Felix… I couldn't care less about all those things… as long as I have Felix…

Fuck…

This is getting dangerous Ryan…

What if he decides to leave you? Or worse…

What if he decides that he wants to be "just friends"?

What are you going to do with your life then?

Fuck… there's no turning back now is it? And to think that Felix was the one that asked ME out…

Felix, you goddamn jerk… I love you…

The hug is still going on? I thought it would be over before I could realize it… things usually work like that for me recently… whenever I start thinking about stuff something happens and I get surprised by the fact that time doesn't wait for me to finish thinking…

Damn… he's so warm…

I couldn't help letting my hands slide underneath his t-shirt, feeling his bare skin against the palm of my hands…

He's not reacting though… maybe he's thinking too? Maybe it's my turn to snap HIM out of it?

"Felix…" I said, but it came out as more of a whisper… a horny whisper… Ryan you have to learn how to control your own body…

"Wha- oh… right… sorry Ryan… I kinda got lost in my thoughts there…" Felix said as he pulled back a little, successfully ending the hug… he's blushing…

"Don't worry about it… I get lost in my own thoughts all the time…" I replied, and I couldn't have held back the smile that appeared on my face even if I wanted to…

He chuckled slightly before he kissed me… and it was one of the sweetest kisses you could ever imagine…

We ended up ending the "sexy time" there… mostly because I didn't want to go any further right now…

After the whole him looking for something in my eyes and then hugging me episode he had gotten so distant… and I KNOW I don't want to go further when he's like that… why did he get so distant though? Was it something I did? No… can't be right? What were his thoughts during the hug? What was he looking for in my eyes? Maybe he was trying to figure out something within himself? Like... Wait! Maybe he was thinking about the whole person of interest thing!?

Felix goddamn it! What made you so distant!?

You've completely conquered my heart haven't you?

Damn…

The thought of my heart belonging to him was so intense that I nearly felt like crying…

"Hey let's go down to the others…" I said…

"Huh, oh yeah, sure…" Felix replied…

"What's on your mind?" I asked, not able to hold myself back anymore…

"Umm… nothing I guess… just… umm… the party." Felix answered, and I could tell he was lying… well if he's that much against telling me, then I guess I'll just leave it at that…

"Hmm… I wonder if we'll have to tell them that we're dating…" I said in an attempt to make a conversation out of this so that he can stop being so distant…

"Don't worry about it… it'll probably be alright!" Felix replied, a little more cheerful now… but the fact that he said "don't worry about it" actually made me worry about it… nothing good ever happens when he utters those words… I wasn't really worried, but now I am…

"Yeah… you're right…"  
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o -o-

I'm so sorry! the reason I haven't made any new chapters is, as I stated on my tumblr, that every time I try to write anything on this fic I get a headache... and after about 3 sentences I feel like I've written an entire chapter...

during this chapter I had a small period where I wrote a lot, well I thought it was a lot at least... and I was like, YES NOW I CAN FINALLY CONTINUE AGAIN... and I thought I had written more than a chapter, but as it turned out I had only written 126 words... and my chapters are 1500 words minimum... (although I've broken that rule on some of the chapters...)

and I bring you more sad news...

I don't have internet... but I will have it when I come back to Norway... which is on the 2nd... but I won't be active until the 3rd... so... yeah...

how can you say that you don't have internet when you're posting this chapter? well that's because I'm sitting at a restaurant, and I'm suspicious as fuck...

damn... I feel like everyone is watching... QAQ

guys, guys... I also wrote a different thing... by different thing I mean a different ending or something like that... well... I find it hard to write when the characters (in this case pewds and cry) have so much sexual tension between them and all I want to do is make them take eachother already! damn... but then I know I can't do that yet and I have to write some sort of believable end to sexy times... those are the times I change the color and write the end I want them to have... like sexy times... most of the time those ends up being only like 1 to 4 lines, and they're usually really exaggerating like "He ripped off my shirt and touched everywhere and we went at it like bunnies the whole night!"...  
I use these to be able to continue the story... but this time it was a little different... I wrote it like it could have been a part of the story...

so question: would you like me to post this? (I had originally planned to post all these things when I had finished the story... but seeing as I haven't posted anything in a while... and wont continue it before the 3rd...)


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